The Good Wife
Battle Of The Proxies

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
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Nora: "My name is apparently Nora. I am awesome, like one of those assistants on The West Wing where you realize you've totally been crushing on me for like two years without even noticing it, until they say my name or I have a storyline of some kind and then you're like, 'Yeah! Nora! That's the ticket!'"
Eli: "...Actually, instead of talking to Greg Leshoure, I need to talk to Mommy. Give me your phone."
Nora: "But I am talking to my literal mother."
Eli: "I will hit you. I'm tiny but I'm quick."

He dials Diane's number. By heart.

COLAVITO CASE(S)

Okay, this is thrilling to watch but probably more trouble than it's worth to recap literally, so I'll just tell you what's up. This girl Brandi Colavito was at a cringingly titled three-day music festival in Chicago called, are you ready for this, "Alt-O-Rama." I love it when they make up names for things on this dorky show, because it always makes less sense than just calling it what it actually is. Like "ChumHum." Fuck is a "ChumHum"?

I'm sorry to tell you this, but Brandi died at that event. But then the killer transported her dead body 50 miles south, to Grundy County -- her little hometown called Minooka -- and dumped her there. Brandi had a stalkery ex-boyfriend back home, Gary Kuharski who looks like a killer hobo, and was at the festival with her current boyfriend, Troy Mallick, who looks like your future husband. (Guess which one did it!) Two tigers, one of whom turned and bit her. Both, actually -- spoiler alert! -- but only one of the times was it fatal. The other one, she managed to escape.

Both of these boys are on trial for the murder, Killer Hobo in Minooka and American Psycho in Cook County. I don't know how that could possibly happen, but it has happened. Further, we've already had a lot of rulings on both cases that will come into play later, like, certain evidence has been excluded by the bench in a given court, for example. Because this show pretends it's a procedural, we don't get to know any of that until it becomes relevant to the twists and turns, so it's sort of 1/3 thrilling, 1/3 like watching a succession of Perry Masons popping up out of nowhere all the time, and 1/3 like a little kid telling you a story and she keeps forgetting to mention the details: "So the King says... Oh, I forgot to tell you, but this puppy is also a princess. That is important."

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The Good Wife

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