But she can't deal with that, Zach, because she's a loud-mouthed old bitch that doesn't know what she's talking about, who lurks about in her grown-ass son's second apartment in the middle of the day for no goddamn reason. It would be asking a lot to have her devise a response that would both affirm her own correctness and simultaneously talk shit about Alicia's parenting. No matter how much she wants to.

DECODE-A-THON

Kalinda: "But surely we can trace the latest snarky embedding to the place it was time-coded or whatever the hell we're talking about."
Bao: "Yeah. Here's that IP address."
Kalinda: "That's my IP address! The call is coming from inside Lockhart, Gardner!"
Everybody: "So obviously it is Jason Biggs, right? These people. But I mean, we can at least stop looking for Mr. Bitcoin. Or until Kalinda realizes this is the unholy love child of Orient Express and Waiting For Godot and it doesn't matter. Because it absolutely does not matter."

Diane: "Kalinda, how's Will's thing going. Is he okay? I'm going to instruct you now, in very coded language, to keep me abreast of the situation."
Kalinda: "So you can cut him loose, I getcha. Protect the firm."
Diane: "No, because he's my friend? I want to help him?"
Kalinda: "Help him off a balcony, I totally hear you. Got it. You really are a piece of work, lady."
Diane: "No, I mean like..."

GARDNER

Elsbeth: "I love your office! It's decorated so beautifully. A desk, chair for people to sit in... Walls..."
Will: "Yeah. I mean, there's no giant oak tree in the middle, covered in moss..."
Elsbeth: "I'm not even going to ask where you keep your frog farm."
Will: "Anyway, we went through those three judges and came up with some shit, but here's the main one. Judge Parks, a product-tampering case that got us a cool eight mil."
Elsbeth: "Cool! How'd you manage that? Wear your socks inside-out that day? Carry a four-leaf clover in your purse?"
Will: "No, it just kinda happened. Sometimes the ball just bounces funny."
Elsbeth: "So true! I love when that happens, it just makes me laugh and laugh!"
Will: "Elsbeth, are you even lis..."
Elsbeth: "Jury trial? Bench decision. Hey, that file on the desk that says McCormick Product Tampering Case We Won For Questionable Reasons, would that have anything to do with what we're talking about? And if so, does it have problematic stuff in it? And if so, would you mind if I just..."