Alicia: "That went well."
Biggs: "Thanks! Now I have to go deal with Occupy Wall Streeters. They're pretty much just like Mr. Bitcoin, but they don't pay as well. On the other hand, they pay me in actual money and not magical autism points."
Bob Balaban, dropping from the ceiling: "Jason Biggs, you're under arrest! For being Mr. Bitcoin!"
Alicia, verbatim: "Oh, come on!"
Balaban, same: "I am coming on!"
I loved that. Anyway, if Bitcoin is a real currency and if Jason Biggs is pretending to be his own lawyer or whatever, then the penalty for that is ten to thirty years. So I can see why the Treasury would be about that, but what I don't get is, it is a currency. You use it to buy things. Specifically things like drugs and child porn. So why not just immediately jump to that kind of testimony instead of running around hitting a bunch of people with Kalinda's sex ray and randomly making even huger messes? Ah. Credits and then Alicia explains.
Alicia: "This is about getting around your judgely order and that's it. You ruled that he didn't have to give over the identity, so now they're trying to Childs him into freaking out."
Balaban: "Here are many pieces of paper!"
Alicia: "Yeah, which Jason Biggs would have signed because he's their lawyer?"
Balaban: "More pieces of paper!"
Alicia: "Yeah, because if you're being anonymous you would have your lawyer pay for subcontractors?"
Balaban: "Infinite pieces of paper!"
Judge Dunaway: "I'm swamped. Look at all this paper!"
Suddenly the judge's mind is blown by the paper and by Balaban bringing up Occam's Razor, which is like the most risibly obvious thing, like if somebody on Jersey Shore mentioned Occam's Razor maybe you would think, "That's kinda hifalutin," but that's like the only circumstance. Anyway, Jason Biggs gets out on bail from his arrest a second ago, and Alicia thinks about spitting in Bob Balaban's face, but it is too beautiful.
L/G
The name partners and Alicia toss around the old football, now that Balaban has won his day in court, and finally Will suggests they just prove that Bitcoin isn't a currency, but a commodity, much like -- it is said -- a bushel of fruit. Oh man, have you seen those shitty manipulative collector-coin ads on MSNBC lately? They always come on during Suze Orman and they've gotten so fucking crazy.









Comments