The Good Wife
Bitcoin For Dummies

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Looking For Mr. Bitcoin

Whatever, you lost me. The secret unbreakable code of the Bitcoin now also has a string in it that says, "Jason Biggs Is Innocent." Ugh, I don't know. I like Neal Stephenson just fine, or at least Snow Crash and the first big one, and anybody who's read a book by him feels like they are secretly a cryptographer, so maybe the problem's that I'm standing too close to it, or that I just think I'm close and -- since I actually don't know anything about anything -- I'm far away and with blurred vision, but I swear to God the next person that says "Bitcoin" to me is going to get it.

I'm starting to feel about "Bitcoin" like the last two months have made me feel about the word "Skyrim," like, why does everybody in every conversation in every part of your life or the city where you live, why do they all keep saying this word "Skyrim" all the time and trying to explain what a "Skyrim" is.

Interlocutor #1: "Hey honey, I haven't seen you in a while. Want a cheeseburger?"
Interlocutor #2: "No, I just want to talk about this 'Skyrim' some more."
Interlocutor #1: "Okay, how about a blowjob?"
Interlocutor #2: "They don't have those on a 'Skyrim.' Just people that are half-dragon, but they look like people, so you can't tell."
Interlocutor #1: "So, really they're just people?"
Interlocutor #2: "Uh, no. They are dragons, that just look like people. 'Skyrim' people."
Interlocutor #1: "Any offers that came up earlier in this conversation are now off the table. You do realize that."
Interlocutor #2: "What? Sorry, honey. I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking about what I should probably do later when I am saving the 'Skyrim' or making a journey in it or whatever is the ultimate point of this."

NEXT WITNESS

Take it away, kids. Make sure to say some words that sound like plausible English, but mean less and less as you go on.

Alicia: "Your Honor, the time code of the embedding on this new block of Skyrim -- embedding that only could be put there by Skyrim's inventor -- was at exactly the same moment Jason Biggs was in court yesterday."
Balaban: "Which means nothing, Your Honor. It's the easiest thing in the world to arrange for a delayed embedding. And in fact, if you were trying to establish an alibi, wouldn't you delay the embedding for exactly the moment you were in court?"

Yeah, that's a for sure real thing they are talking about. They have studied up, and now they know all about "time codes" and "delayed embeddings" and whatever horseshit. Suddenly, Elaine is on the stand.

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The Good Wife

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