Elaine: "I dunno, maybe Jason Biggs is Mr. Bitcoin."
Jason Biggs: "We cryptographers are always doing stuff like this to each other. I should have known better. 'There is no honor among cryptographers.' I think Montaigne said that."
Actually, what he literally says is so funny, he goes, "She's gonna set us up... Jealousy. Cryptographer jealousy. The ugliest kind."
It's like those occasional SVU episodes where they just leave the trail entirely and head off into, like, "This guy had a sperm bank cult and made all the girls have a pregnancy pact for the purposes of a clone war" and you're like, "Ripped from exactly what headlines? What is this periodical you're referencing?"
PETER'S CITY APT
Nisa: "So your mom said to cool it, and you decided that meant we should sneak off to your dad's secret apartment in the city?"
Zach: "Yeah, that made sense to me. It'll be nice to do homework alone in this empty house where it's just the two of us."
Jackie: Pops up from behind the kitchen island like a jack-in-the-box!
Nisa: "Ahh! A loud-mouthed old bitch that doesn't know what she's talking about! Run!"
Zach: "No, it's just my awful grandmother."
Jackie: "Zach, weren't you dating that Jewess?"
Zach: "Eli's daughter? No, she's in college. Also insufferable."
Jackie: "So, this young lady. Kind of a lateral move, huh?"
Zach: "So help me, Jackie. We love black people, you know that about us..."
Jackie: "No, I just mean because you're back in private school now. And she's, you know, not..."
Jackie proceeds to give him almost verbatim the speech that Alicia did earlier, which basically came down to the fact that young people in love are by definition idiots in at least three ways and that you can't base your whole life on one mistake and let's just see where it takes us, etc., and finally he's like, "Mom said the same thing. Deal with that."
But she can't deal with that, Zach, because she's a loud-mouthed old bitch that doesn't know what she's talking about, who lurks about in her grown-ass son's second apartment in the middle of the day for no goddamn reason. It would be asking a lot to have her devise a response that would both affirm her own correctness and simultaneously talk shit about Alicia's parenting. No matter how much she wants to.