The Good Wife
Bitcoin For Dummies

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Looking For Mr. Bitcoin

...Or at least it would be, if Elsbeth weren't doing her magical shit to their brains, offering them drinks of dew and moonlight while they're trying to talk, ordering up breakfast smoothies from her nonexistent unicorn administrative assistant, and generally throwing a one-woman hootenanny complete with dance moves while they're trying to proffer each other or whatever. At one point, no lie, she offers them blankets in case they're cold.

SA, finally: "If you supply us with truthful information as to your knowledge about judicial criminal conduct we'll close this investigation against you. No grand jury. The name of your bookie was Jonathan Meade, is that correct?"
Will: "Jonathan Meade was the name of a friend of mine, who I invited to one of my Wednesday night basketball games. He acted in a lot of capacities. At one point he was even an actor."
Elsbeth: "Really? In what?"
Will, loving it: "I... Um, I don't know, but I think it was a low-budget movie."
Elsbeth, overexcited: "A horror movie!?"
SA, annoyed: "...And you witnessed several judges placing bets with Jonathan Meade?"
Elsbeth: "Could you be more specific? Which three judges?"
SA: (Balks, of course.)

Elsbeth, breathlessly: "Mr. Gardner needs to know what you're after in order to help you and there were a lot of judges at this basketball game over the years and how many of them talked to your actor friend?"
Will: "Quite a few?"
Elsbeth: "See so how can we help you if you won't give us any direction on how to help you?"

A Judge Winter, a Judge Dunaway, and a Judge Parks, all of whom we've seen before. Which is precisely when I had the gut-dropping feeling of realizing that this whole season is going to come down to remembering which judge did what and when. Like I even would recognize their names; this literally didn't occur to me that we would have seen any of the judges they have been talking about on the show, which obviously that's the whole point.

So the reason I didn't get this done before the weekend is that I had to go back and figure out all of this, because you know what makes zero impression on Jacob? Baby Boomer Authority Figures. You could tell me one judge was played by Jane Kaczmarek and then in the very next sentence, George Takei or Arsenio Hall, and I'd believe you, thrice, because they all look the fuckin' same to me.

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The Good Wife




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