Alicia: "You're not returning my calls. That's not fair."
Peter: "It's a bad idea for us to talk right now. Obviously."
Alicia: "Peter, this is so wrong..."
Peter: "What? We're fine. I just thought it was better to avoid you because..."
Alicia: "Peter! So help me God!"
Peter: "They're just doing what they have to do, dude."
Alicia: "If you so much as... Wait, what?"
Peter: "I knew they would connect the dots back to me on the race stuff, especially once your meddling ass got involved, and I knew that you would break confidentiality about it the second I called you back. I know you incredibly well and I know this presses each and every one of your buttons."
Alicia: "No! I mean yeah, but no. I'm here to yell at you about something else."
Peter: "Honestly, I'm happy to say I haven't done anything disgusting this week."
Alicia: "Besides buying that house like the controlling beast you -- and by extension, and to all evidence this week -- all men are?"
Peter: "Bitch I ain't buyin' you a house, you threw me out! What are you talking about? That old house is for sale? Why in God's name would..."
Alicia: "...Somebody named Florrick bought our old house. And it wasn't you, it wasn't me, so..."
Ah. She abruptly bounces.
Peter: "What is happening right now? Where are you going?"
Alicia, verbatim for once: "TO BUY A GUN!"
Is she kidding? Is she for real? Man, when it's Jackie you got yourself a coin-flip.
EQUITY PARTNER MEETING
Eli: "[Long rambling preamble -- preambling! -- plus a few bitchy volleys with David Lee] and so now I want to back Julius Cain for name partner. He best exemplifies the ... um ... Things. That we want. As a firm. Whatever."
Julius: "You're both selfless and an accomplished public speaker."
David Lee, awesomely: "Please, you probably flipped a coin or something."
Will: "Point of interest?"
Eli: "What is that? What does that mean when you say that?"
David Lee: "It means they can do whatever the hell they want. Mommy and Daddy got us again."
Will: "Oh, but let me show you how. Who can name the person in this room with the highest seniority?"
David Lee: "Easy, it's me."
Will: "Girl, no it is not."