Alicia: "Who are you and why are you in my office or storyline?"
Lana: "You suggested I contact you? Remember? When you almost beat me up, in my computer form?"
Alicia: "Yeah, okay. I thought you'd call first instead of just appearing in my office like a magic sex ghost."
Lana: "I thought about it, but then I decided against it because I am super creepy."
Alicia: "Okay, so why are you using the IRS to hound Kalinda Sharma?"
Lana: "Let's talk about Lemond Bishop."
Alicia: "No way. No, no, no. Not that shit again. Bring it back to Kalinda. Now."
Lana: "Fine. Is Lemond Bishop one of the people who paid her off the books?"
Alicia: "Do you have reason to think he is?"
Lana: "How well do you know her? You're her best friend, right? You think she's safe and trustworthy?"
Alicia: "Not today, sister. You are not pulling that shit on me today. Get out of my office. And next time, call me so we can get your bullshit on record."
Lana: "Tell Kalinda hello! And that I love her! But also I am keen to destroy her, because I am a crazy person!"
Alicia: "If you turn out to be another married person she fucked, I am going to blow up Chicago."
Not since The Addendum has a particular setup been so fucking fraught. What a perfectly constructed delight this next bit is, like, you lean forward on the edge of the couch and croak out half-swallowed nonsense, as though, should you prove intense enough, you may be able to affect what is happening onscreen: If you can just care hard enough, the people inside your TV will hear you, and follow your advice.
Alicia goes running for Kalinda about this latest bullshit (Plot C) while answering a call from Gilda (Plot B) and simultaneously catching the Internal Affairs guy Burke at the elevators (Plot A). She desperately needs to tell Kalinda who the predator is, but also has to answer her phone, but also Burke has limited time to tell her what she needs to know about the murder, but Kalinda for once doesn't even pick up on the Spidey Sense of Alicia's desperation, and Gilda just wants to chat and chat, and Burke's lunch break is about to end and he's getting on the elevator, and Gilda's got a better idea about how to get the house just between us moms, and Kalinda finally manages to pick up that her FBI stalker is behind the IRS thing, and Burke just wants you to know that the drop gun thing was true and is a factor, and so Kalinda runs off and Alicia thinks she's got the IPRA case in the bag and then, just when you maybe peed a little, she drops back into the conversation Gilda's been having with herself on the phone, to hear her utter the punchline: