Alicia smiles, but won't give it up yet. Not even Alicia, I think, can hear how naked that makes her right now. How brave she is. But what do you say?
"I'm giving you this. This is happening, right now. Don't stir it all up again. Don't push the bruise. Be in the quiet."
You'd be asking a lot, to want Alicia to actually say it. Too much, frankly. And to ask things of the people we love, that we know they can't give, is a failure of compassion. Kalinda knows Alicia won't say it, not because of fear -- like Kalinda -- but because she's Alicia. Her silence is a fragile peace, protecting a storm. Break it open, the whole world ends. But that doesn't mean Kalinda can't say it, and know that she's heard.
Kalinda: "I'm sorry."
Alicia: "I know."
She does. They do. They are, for a second, together in the quiet. Maybe it's as simple as this. They both risked so much, during the Nick times, just to help each other. The murder, or whatever, was the loudest secret thing Kalinda did, to us. But really, Alicia fought just as hard from her side, in her way, and never really let on either. Both on opposite sides of the wall, trying to figure out how to get over it. Covering for each other the entire time.
Alicia, chuckling: "You know, I'm starting to have doubts that bro is showing up tomorrow."
Kalinda: "On the off chance it's not just stalling, do you want to give me that other number? The local one that's not the ranch? Not every emergency is a joke."
Cary: "...Agos, fourth-year associate at Lockhart/Gardner. For the last three months I've been helping Clarke Hayden with a personal project. About ten hours a week."
Diane: "And this was done on your time?"
Cary: "I'm a fourth-year associate. I don't have 'my time,' per se. But I managed. He asked me to tutor him. He went to law school, as it turns out, but never took the bar. L/G reinvigorated him."
Diane: "And... Did you feel you had any choice in the matter?"
Cary looks over at Hayden, suddenly so old and shabby and small, and tries to make his voice say everything at once, both yes and no, to satisfy everyone: "No." No choice at all.
Clarke: "Fourth-year associates rarely have time of their own, yet you found the time to help me?"
Cary: "I mean, you held sway over the entire firm..."
Clarke: "Didn't I offer to pay you? And you refused."
Cary: "Of course."
Clarke: "Did I ever state or imply that you would be afforded preferential treatment for your help?"
Cary: "Not with this one thing, no."
Clarke: "Did I ever state or imply that you would be penalized if you refused to help me?"
Cary, again multivalent: "No sir. You did not."