INSULIN CONGA

More pathetic-fallacy stormclouds!

Simone: "Sorry we didn't get to have breakfast."
Alicia: "Well, we both live in Chicago, so..."
Louis: "Oh yeah, we'll be seeing you real soon."
(Thunder, lightning, signs, portents.)
Alicia: "...What do you mean, you?"
Louis: "LOL I am Encinal Equity. I own you. Literally."
Simone: "Sweet! We're going to be hanging out all the time!"

A bird falls out of a tree. Breakfast eggs all over Minnesota run with blood when they are cracked. A cow is born with two heads, one of whom always tells the truth and the other of whom spouts unceasing eulogies for the fictional. It begins.

NEXT WEEK

French people bein' dicks. Wives scandalously boning their husbands, much to Eli Gold's chagrin. Wendy Scott-Carr taking bites out of faces, having just about had it. Jordan Karahalios jumping into the arms of a variety of wizards for like a good ten or fifteen. Nun Logicians. Nag Inclusion. Union Scaling. All of these and more. Oh, and as it turns out: Elsbeth gets arrested. And I don't mean like funny elf-jail, but an actual arrest by human cops and the whole nine.

JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Good Wife, Deception, and Pretty Little Liars for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, and a novelette, "The Commonplace Book," appeared this fall on Tor.com.