When last we left Lockhart/Gardner, it was with Eli Gold under the microscope of the Department of Justice for a nonexistent "discounts for donations" scheme. The investigation, intended to scare the DNC about Peter's gubernatorial campaign, has since had two major repercussions: First, Wendy Scott-Carr is the US Attorney now assigned to the case, which means a lot of head games and inner darkness, and the DNC is spooked enough to load Eli up with a second in command: Adorable political wunderkind Jordan Karahalios (TR Knight!). A warning shot from Diane gets Wendy Scott-Carr's dander up, and before you know it she's investigating both Gold & Associates and L/G, meaning that Eli needs to find another lawyer.

Not that Will and Diane have any more time than usual for Eli's bullshit, given that Trustee Hayden is still so pissed about his failed merger that he's requested a mediation to bring them down immediately as managing partners. While faith in both L and G eventually wins out -- they still have a five-week deadline before he can start up his mess again -- the devil is in the details. First, Cary has been tutoring Hayden so he can finally take the bar, which he must admit -- heartbreakingly -- he didn't do in the name of bromance. And the other bit we learn is a bit of a twist: Seems they've got about half of their $60M debt under control, but the remainder has been bought off by a single creditor. As though they have never seen this show before, Will and Diane think that's a good thing.

(But it is not! It is Louis Canning! More head games! More inner darkness! More Louis Canning!)

...Who spends the whole episode dicking Alicia around in even more grandiose style than usual, keeping her trapped at a fancy Minnesota B&B while his client -- the fairly awesome head of a bank who's accused of abandoning their foreclosures to the degree that a little ballerina gets West Nile -- waits for a merger to come through. You've got the intense Martha (of "Marthas & Caitlins" fame) facing off against Cary back in Chicago, while Alicia bums around the hotel getting drunk with Kalinda, responding to Canning's treatment with some truly gorgeous attitude and side-eye, and making friends with his wife. The eventual settlement is a relief, but the reveal that the Dream Team has acquired a major piece of L/G -- and more than likely will be making fast friends with Hayden -- makes all those pathetic fallacy stormclouds we've been seeing lately seem more ominous than ever.

So there's Louis and Patty at the door, and a heartbroken Clarke Hayden right here in the house with them, and then on the other side you've got Wendy Scott-Carr doing her best to use Eli against Peter and L/G both. All in all, a fine beginning to what's shaping up to be a total shitshow. At least we have Jordan now, and Kalinda's been invited to the Drink Entire Bottles Of Wine In Hotel Beds Club... And never forget the fact that Alicia remains estranged from giving a good goddamn about most of this stuff anyway.

Next Week: French people, swimming pools, marital frolics.