The Good Wife
Boom De Ya Da

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Hayden gets very uppity about that, but we won't know exactly why for a bit. It's a very interesting moment, maybe one of the most interesting moments in the episode, because he does look like a martinet who is overstepping, right now. And while that's still true, this little "stop acting like you're better than me" snit right here is about something so much closer to the bone than him being officious. Which is how they've always treated him, but I can't think of a single time -- before the merger stuff -- that he ever was actually being officious or weird in the way they think he is. You know what I mean?

Serafina: "Serafina doesn't run marriage counseling, Serafina doesn't care if you like each other. But you will shut the fuck up when I am talking to you. Now listen, you're missing the big picture. This isn't about Will and Diane, Great People. This is about your creditors."
Diane: "Yes, Your Honor."
Serafina: "Call me Ma'am. Serafina is no judge. That is not Serafina's vocation. Serafina listens, she watches, she suggests. She brings compromise. She does not judge."
Diane: "Ma'am? Um, okay. Ma'am, though, I have a bit of a twist to tell you about, which is that our creditors are voting with their pocketbooks and buying up our debt."
Everybody: "Whhaa?"
Will: "Yeah, we called them about this mediation, and they were like, Oh, sorry, we're not actually your creditors, your debt got bought out by a consortium called Encinal Equity."

(Uh, which is clearly an anagram for whoever wants their nuts this week. Actually, how funny would it be if it literally were, like, if Kalinda just randomly was moving refrigerator letter-magnets around and suddenly went buckwild hollering about "This equity consortium's name spells MADDIE ... HAYWARD ... FOREVER ... SUCKAS! Call the bank immediately! Call Eli! Call everybody!")

Diane: "People don't buy bad debt, unless it's a conspiracy like this one will be."
Hayden: "But by that logic, your first creditors are fleeing your debt by selling it. People don't sell good debt..."
Diane: "Ma'am, all we need is a minute to get our shit together for this sneak attack mediation. Like we don't have enough shit going on all the time."
Serafina: "How long."
L/G: "Like a week?"
Serafina: "Serafina doesn't have a week to give you. Assemble your witnesses for tomorrow."

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The Good Wife

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