Chung-chung. She may not judge, but she sure does gavel. Or maybe that was a joke because she's on a Law & Order? I don't ever understand this show's jokes, because I am from a different planet than this show. But speaking of, I was in one way disappointed and in another way thrilled that the car-honk joke didn't resurface this week.
ICILY TAN QUEEN
Cary: "Like for example this property. It wasn't just a pool, it had a grotto and a waterfall and all kinds of crap. So was that all boarded up after you took possession?"
Cary: "And did you hear about the skateboarders using the waterfall for gleaming their cubes and whatnot?"
Martha: "What's your point?"
Cary: "Attractive nuisance. Which Jacob just learned is, in tort law, anything that lures children into a dangerous area, like a trampoline, or a crate full of diseased and disillusioned puppies, that makes the owner -- the bank, now -- liable for the injury."
Martha: "She climbed the fence!"
Cary: "Textbook definition of attractive nuisance. Children are stupid. It takes a village."
Martha: "There was already a fence! She's a bright girl!"
Will: "She's a bright teen, certainly. But three years ago? Who can say."
Martha: "So Kaley, were you a fucking idiot three years ago?"
Kaley: "I ain't bein' deposed right now, I ain't under oath. Suck it, Martha."
CLEAN YEN? I QUIT!
Jordan Karahalios!: "You're so well-dressed!"
Eli: "Thanks, first of all. You're dressed meanwhile like a tiny little Andrew Wylie, with a hoodie under what seems to be more hoodies. Also, who are you and why are you in my office."
DNC Frank: "This is that cute boy I got you for Christmas."
Eli: "Ah, the Boy Wonder."
Jordan, boy-wonder Jordan: "That ol' Rahm Emanuel. Always handin' out nicknames."
First of all, he's giving a kinda barefoot Huck Finn vibe -- totally hot -- and then on top of that, do you realize the Peter Jackson Hobbiton levels of camera cheats you have to do to create the illusion of Alan Cumming towering over anybody? James Cameron maybe had to invent an entirely new kind of camera to create this illusion. I don't know how tall TR Knight is -- my answer would be "the perfect amount, like five eight maybe" -- but I do know that people don't come in So Tiny a Size that Alan Cumming should be towering over them. Would that he would leap, Elijah Wood-style, directly into Eli's arms. Or anybody's, really. Sir Ian McKellan's, Kellan Lutz's, mine, whatever. Preferably on a horse-driven cart of some kind. I just really want to see that shit.