ALICIA'S HOUSE

Eli: "So you're 'phoning' me on my 'phone' to... Cancel dinner?"
Marissa: "For I am the worst!"
Zach: "You want a drink? A soft drink, I mean."
Eli: "WHY ARE YOU WITH ZACH? GO DATE A COMMUNIST AND GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE."
Marissa: "Neener."

Marissa: "I guess Eli knows about Peter moving out because he told me, off-screen, which changes every Eli/Alicia and Eli/Peter scene in the last like three episodes and would have been good to know before now."
Zach: "When did your parents split up?"
Marissa: "Five months ago. Another thing that would have changed the situation, because Eli and Parker Posey were playing it in a way that made the recapper feel like it was a long time ago, or else he just made that up because the idea of Eli Gold having a wedded wife, much less Alan Cumming, is too weird to think about. Like maybe if she was a space creature, or somebody from the Warhol Factory of yore. Or like Jennifer Jason Leigh."
Zach: "Yeah. Parker Posey."
Marissa: "Good point. Anyway, I can tell you how to manipulate your parents using their impending divorce."
Zach: "When you say that word Grace and I both shudder down to our bones. You can't see it, because we are the children of Alicia Florrick, but it's very real."

(Ding-dong.)

Jackie: "Helllloooooooo?"
Zach: "Aw, jeez."

Jackie: "I have come once again on Chris Noth's behalf. Listen, is that a Jewess?"
Zach: "Oh, Grandma."

(Ding-dong.)

Jennifer: "It is I! The horrible tutor, dressed like an asshole with my face painted. Is Grace here? We might be lesbians together, we might have Aspergers together. You just never know. I can tell you one thing, though, and that is that we are going to film it."

Jackie: Loses her fucking mind. Just goes around the bend completely. It is awesome. First it was all the black people, then the lesbian thing, Owen put a headdress on her... It had to come eventually. Momma don't play. And she is taking every single one of you motherfuckers with her.