ibid., verbatim: "I have to be blunt, sir, because that's how TMZ is gonna report it, FOX is gonna repeat it, and Jon Stewart is gonna finish it. Here. Comes. Santa."
They sit there for awhile chewing on that one. Mickey tries some kind of "changing a lightbulb" defense, and Mulvey is just like, "Blowjob jokes! What's the prob?"
Eli: "Jokes are okay. But this is a joke about you fellating Santa. And Santa's expression [Which is O.O] does not help."
Eli's Strategy: Same as always, get out in front of it. His one trick.
Eli: "You're the Facebook Generation, sir. Every candidate under forty has some dumb photo from some dumb college buddy. Krystal Ball and the reindeer nose?"
Everybody: (Tries to remember that, because it seems like forever ago, because we are the Facebook Generation. Except for Alicia, who can barely work her phone. Moms!)
Eli: "Are there any more photos out there?"
Truth: "I maybe have a problem with sucking the dicks of statuary!"
Zach is awesome, Marissa sucks. They are in love. Eli hates this in so very many ways. Zach could do better, on a scale that is impressive. Marissa used to rule. She is still better than Grace, though.
So the bad news is that Ricky Packer picked up two 14-year-old girls from a shopping mall, raped them over three days, then slit their throats. Yeah.
Alicia: "When you say it out loud like that..."
Coyne: "All we need is mitigation."
Alicia: "It's just ... My daughter's their age..."
IT IS YOUR FUCKING JOB. HOW MANY EPISODES BEFORE YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THE LEGAL SYSTEM WORKS. MOMS!
Incorrect Mitigation #1: "He was born with neuroblastoma, a syndrome requiring a dozen painful surgeries before the age of five."
Incorrect Mitigation #2: "And his mother has not visited him in prison..."
Wrong Conclusion: "Bad and painful childhood, absentee mom, we can work with that. We need some photos of sadness, squalor."
Packer: "My mom, she's always talking about redemption. Right? But redemption from what? From being a man?"
Chills. All over. Ugh. I kind of feel like I'm on Alicia's side with this one, even though I always make fun. Especially because in this case it's not about getting him off Death Row, just messing with his head. But then you still have this thing of, What if it accidentally worked, what if some kind of Diane/Alicia/Kalinda magic accidentally happened and he got loose? That would be awful. But this -- that possibility, but moreso the ugliness of this situation -- is the price of democracy, and the death penalty is 100% not okay, so put your big-boy pants on and deal with the situation on the ground.