Dispassionately speaking, they're faulty, because like every social inequity we struggle with in this country, they come from the same pet tiger question: As long as you consider Cary Agos the baseline human from whom the rest of us are measured, Cary always wins. As long as any minority is less rather than different, Cary always wins. And the ways you get into, or out of, that trap aren't always apparent: In this case, it seems like you're having a progressive conversation by admitting that gay people exist at all, but you're not. The privilege still lies in your ability to give and remove permissions for the rest of us to exist, in your conversation among yourselves.
It's not ever the hate that keeps things from changing, it's the privilege. Every empire rests on privilege, not bigotry, because hate is something you have to justify and feels gross, whereas privilege just feels like the way things are.
So, the person in question is the one who decides, no matter how weird that may sound to you or how it works out in practice, because it's the only ethical answer to the question that also satisfies the requirements the questions is intended to satisfy. This is one of the few minorities where that's the case, but it's a big one. Now, this conversation is about perception, so that doesn't really apply here, except you keep losing track of that in order to pursue these ridiculous, offensive, privileged conversations about hypothetical matters of hypothetical interest to people who don't identify as gay, but are pretty fucking important in reality. So how is it that you've managed to make things simultaneously both more and less complicated than they are, and still be wrong in both directions? It's like watching cats do algebra. Why do you even need to do algebra, Kitty? Just go do cat stuff.
I mean, it goes on for a really long time but it's all so weird and retro that there's not much point for what you and I are doing here in this recap. Debating whether there are effeminate gay men or celibate straight men or whatever the hell. So stupid. So CBS, like that one time the two hackers on that show were hacking so hard they were both using the same keyboard. What? This is what I always imagine shows are like, on this channel. I haven't been this mortified for old people since Carrie went to that party at Alanis Morissette's house and boys were kissing on the mouth and she was like, "What is going on here, Alanis Morissette?" And Alanis Morissette was like, "Human sexuality is a moving target, you gross old weirdo." And then they made out and it was so hot, because when you think "sex symbol"...