ST. MARTIN HOTEL
St. Martin Lady: "Hey, is your name Kalinda? I feel woozy, like a whole new world of desire has been opened within me that makes me act super unprofessional."
Kalinda: "Used to it. Although, you are particularly weird. You are like the weirdest person ever on this show. I can't even figure out why you're so weird, you just are. It's intense."
St. Martin Lady: "I've been so damned alone. Me and this haircut. Ever since I got fired from my job as Headmistress of the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic."
Kalinda: "Take me all over this hotel and tell me private information about your most high-profile guests like it's no big deal."
St. Martin Lady: "Can do. And after that, could you bash me in the head with a frying pan and then hold a gun to my throat while we do it?"
Kalinda: "If we move fast."
Was Indira Starr in the hotel fucking Peter Florrick? No, of course not. More interestingly, though, was the door between Eli and Peter's rooms open? I like to think that they prefer to sleep that way, just in case Peter has a bad dream. But the answer is no.
Lady: "Our staff has to open the door connecting the rooms. There was no such request."
Kalinda: "Can't the occupants open it on their own?"
Lady: "Not the regular normal ones... I'm sorry. I have disappointed you."
(She really said that and it was so weird.)
Kalinda: "No, it's just odd because of this random unnecessary thing somebody said to me. What is the real clue I am here to find?"
Lady: "You have to have a special keycard, a Concierge Card, to get onto the floor where Peter was."
Kalinda: "But this chick wasn't on that floor, so how would she get there?"
Lady: "Only with a Concierge Card. I seem to have pleased you now."
Kalinda: "You sure have, Ms. Ledger."
(They both really said that, and it was super weird but also pretty awesome.)
I don't know why I refer to every bar on this show as a fern bar. I don't even know what that is, really, I just think of it as "a bar like they have on TV sometimes." I don't know that anybody has used that term since the '80s, or precisely what it meant even then. I can distinctly remember my father using the term. Or an episode of LA Law, one or the other.