For most of my childhood I thought it had to do with lesbians, or maybe it was lesbian lawyers? That a lesbian lawyer would take a lady to a fern bar, that was all I knew of them. And I made that up, so.
Or maybe it wasn't a lesbian but Frasier Crane. Oh, I'll never figure this one out. It's like the time there was a folk cover of that song "Fields Of Gold" on an episode of Dawson's Creek and I got so misty talking about how my mom used to sing that song to me when I was little, and then I had to be like, "Wait, no. That was Sting."
Alicia: "I can't pronounce Pedro Almodovar!"
Maddie: "The poor are so uncultured, I love it."
Alicia: "Why do you keep pouring alcohol down my neck? Do you have some kind of agenda in this fern bar?"
Maddie: "I can understand why you're curious, since I just keep hanging around not doing anything. But Jacob's starting to form a theory. It has to do with Peter, the campaign, even Kalinda is part of this theory. It may result in everything becoming awesome again if he is right."
Alicia: "But for now we are the best of friends!"
Maddie: "Drink more of these free drinks they keep bringing us. Isn't it so ironic that they give rich people the most free stuff? I'm like, Occupy this gift bag! Just kidding, I love it."
Alicia: "Oh shit, I am drunk. On the upside, I can ask you why you want to be my friend. Because clearly you have an agenda in this fern bar."
Maddie: "Do you not love it? Do you not enjoy the attention of another human being?"
This part was so sad, but also kind of awesome, because this only ever comes up in conversations with Owen, this idea that Alicia is partly sad but also totally gets off on people thinking she's boring. Like the more boring she is, the more of a middle-finger it is to everybody else who wants her to be interesting, and she can save the fun shit for life at home.
Alicia: "Why are we here? I'm not very interesting."
Maddie: "That's certainly not true! You are a very interesting ingredient in whatever witch's brew I'm cooking up."
Alicia's face makes a face. Oh shit she is drunk. I wasn't sure how drunk, until she actually expressed an emotion. Girl, get out of there! You are in danger!