Peter: "Whoa, who's the crazy old lady you're watch... Oh crap, is that my mom? Why's she acting like Billy Bibbit?"
Video Guy: "Can we at least check her dosage, though?"
Eli: "-- That's enough of that. This is clearly about me."
Peter: "I think you'll find it's about me, and my pleasure with you. So let's please me."
Eli: "Once again, I am caught between a rock and a harridan."
Luthor: "Maybe you weren't his 'gay' friend, just a childhood friend. Or his 'white' friend. Maybe he overlooked your gross gayness."
Chad: "I mean, maybe?"
Luthor: "And like you said he had 'no game.' Elaborate, please?"
Chad: "He wasn't, like, a man's man."
Luthor: "He was fancy."
Chad: "Very. But so what? Wayne wouldn't drown a person for being fancy. Everybody's a little fancy."
Diane: "What the hell are we even doing here? First it was a hate crime against a gay dude. Then it was a hate crime against the fancy."
Luthor: "Exactly. The swishy."
(I'm sorry, but "Mary"? "Swishy"? What the fuck kind of time traveling yokel nonsense is this? Do people somewhere still use words like that? How embarrassing and dumb. Baby Boomers, once again you can eat my entire fancy ass. Grow the fuck up.)
Diane: "...Ah. So now it's a hate crime against 'swishy' people, who are not gay..."
This Show: "If an effeminate man marries a woman and doesn't sleep with men, then yes, that man is not gay."
Wrong. If any kind of man at all says he's not gay, he's not gay. He can sleep with men all he wants, doesn't matter. I'm not one for identity politics or social justice, at all -- quite the opposite really -- but in this situation that's the correct call, and there's a solid basis for it: Anything else, and you're setting up the binary so that gay is less, that anybody tainted by sexual acts is less, that one gay act makes you irrevocably gay because you fell, and all of that is wrong. Not just childishly naïve but logically wrong, ethically broken. You are baking those assumptions into the cake, and they are bad assumptions.
Dispassionately speaking, they're faulty, because like every social inequity we struggle with in this country, they come from the same pet tiger question: As long as you consider Cary Agos the baseline human from whom the rest of us are measured, Cary always wins. As long as any minority is less rather than different, Cary always wins. And the ways you get into, or out of, that trap aren't always apparent: In this case, it seems like you're having a progressive conversation by admitting that gay people exist at all, but you're not. The privilege still lies in your ability to give and remove permissions for the rest of us to exist, in your conversation among yourselves.