The Good Wife
Don't Haze Me, Bro

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
Retreat To Advance

New Kid: "No, it's been a tradition for fifty years."
Alicia: "And did the university have a wink-wink attitude towards..."
(Objection sustained.)
Alicia: "So Shanks said no Dunk this year, but they say that every year."
Witness: "Well, but then also he sent me this text that says Don't get too drunk at the Dunk. Have match tomorrow. So."


Diane: "Sorry about your dead kid. I just talked to Lionel Luthor and he offered a half million. But don't take it, okay? Six million is what we're going for."
Parents: "He keeps calling us greedy. Six million is twelve times more than that."
Alicia: "The more they call you names, the more you know you're winning."

Will: "Hey Diane, I just wanted to let you know how incredibly depressing it is on the boxed-up, burnt-out 27th floor. Just standing here makes me feel poor."
Diane: "We'll get it back, Will. You retreat to advance."
Will: "Yeah, but because every season there's some kind of fucked up financial thing going on at the firm, it feels like we've been retreating for four years."
Diane: "And we're still standing. Among all the firms, there's just us."
Will: "Okay. Actually, being in the shithole that used to be several of our departments is kind of invigorating. I feel like I have nothing to lose and everything to burn."
Diane: "Attagirl."


Homegirl's speaking at a Tea for the Alliance For Retired Americans, a terrifying concept but one which I guess is really just code for Eli still wants her to shut the hell up. One of Eli's dudes is standing at the back, nervously laughing at her crappy jokes and videotaping the whole thing, probably for uploading it later to a website.* It takes the old thing about five seconds before the slut-shaming begins.

Jackie: "I know that my son's rigorous sexual appetite and almost animalistic magnetism is no reason to vote for him for Governor. But apparently, it's reason enough for whores and slatterns to come crawling from the woodwork and the slutty gutters of Cook County, claiming to have tasted the heaven that is my child's sweaty, meaty loving. Even when he was a little child, a little junior high schooler that wouldn't let his mother bathe him anymore, I could see them. Staring, wanting him. The flames of desire in their tainted hearts. Did it really happen? Does he really sleep with everyone he meets? Is it perhaps all a sick fantasy of these lonely women with their incredible taste in men? Was this perhaps divine retribution for my daughter-in-law's occasional wearing of slacks around the house? At some point it just doesn't matter. Because I am crazy as all fuck."

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The Good Wife




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