The Good Wife
Don't Haze Me, Bro

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Retreat To Advance

St. Martin Lady: "I've been so damned alone. Me and this haircut. Ever since I got fired from my job as Headmistress of the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic."
Kalinda: "Take me all over this hotel and tell me private information about your most high-profile guests like it's no big deal."
St. Martin Lady: "Can do. And after that, could you bash me in the head with a frying pan and then hold a gun to my throat while we do it?"
Kalinda: "If we move fast."

Was Indira Starr in the hotel fucking Peter Florrick? No, of course not. More interestingly, though, was the door between Eli and Peter's rooms open? I like to think that they prefer to sleep that way, just in case Peter has a bad dream. But the answer is no.

Lady: "Our staff has to open the door connecting the rooms. There was no such request."
Kalinda: "Can't the occupants open it on their own?"
Lady: "Not the regular normal ones... I'm sorry. I have disappointed you."
(She really said that and it was so weird.)
Kalinda: "No, it's just odd because of this random unnecessary thing somebody said to me. What is the real clue I am here to find?"
Lady: "You have to have a special keycard, a Concierge Card, to get onto the floor where Peter was."
Kalinda: "But this chick wasn't on that floor, so how would she get there?"
Lady: "Only with a Concierge Card. I seem to have pleased you now."
Kalinda: "You sure have, Ms. Ledger."
(They both really said that, and it was super weird but also pretty awesome.)

FERN BAR

I don't know why I refer to every bar on this show as a fern bar. I don't even know what that is, really, I just think of it as "a bar like they have on TV sometimes." I don't know that anybody has used that term since the '80s, or precisely what it meant even then. I can distinctly remember my father using the term. Or an episode of LA Law, one or the other.

For most of my childhood I thought it had to do with lesbians, or maybe it was lesbian lawyers? That a lesbian lawyer would take a lady to a fern bar, that was all I knew of them. And I made that up, so.

Or maybe it wasn't a lesbian but Frasier Crane. Oh, I'll never figure this one out. It's like the time there was a folk cover of that song "Fields Of Gold" on an episode of Dawson's Creek and I got so misty talking about how my mom used to sing that song to me when I was little, and then I had to be like, "Wait, no. That was Sting."

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The Good Wife

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