TREASURY

Alicia has decided she hates Bob Balaban. Which, officious and bitchy aside, cupcakes aside, I still find that hard to believe. So Elsbeth Tascioni decides to sit in his office, not allowing Alicia to speak, while she spends her time reading the entire grant of immunity, which as written is tied to her answers: "As long as Mrs. Florrick is forthcoming and truthful, she cannot be charged for any of her actions." Words to live by. Certainly words she lives by. Elsbeth is immediately like, "I estimate that reading this document while you both sit here being bored will take thirty minutes. Unless you bitch at me, and then it will take longer."

L/G

More of Caitlin's thing where she reads things and they become real.

Answer: "Lieutenant Elephant Walk complied with all necessary donkey punch. His answers were horny, Your Honor."
Question: "How do you mean horny? Unresponsive?"
Answer: "No. Brief."

Caitlin figures out that the adjective they're redacting -- what we call in the legal profession the redactjective -- was a mistake because they were Ctrl-Hing somebody's name. Specifically, "The reason for the arrest is an Army intelligence officer," which I don't even know what that means in English. So Caitlin says that this word is "curt" and not "horny" like I thought, and then there's a guy she found, a Lt. Matthew Curt. Which has confused me all week because that's also a first name, but it's enough that it's an adjective that is also a last name, I guess. But if you're writing this script and you can pick any last name that is also an adjective, why would you pick one that is also a first name? It's confusing.

Anyway, Diana now likes Caitlin, and Caitlin likes that just fine. There's something about the inevitability of this conflict that is really interesting to me. Like, don't let them play us off each other for their delectation or their convenience, but then what happens if you get into competition with somebody who happens to be a cute, younger woman, how do you deal with that? How do you work that one out without feeling like a total jerk? And then it's this show, so you know it won't be that cut-and-dried, but in this case watching it come together is enjoyable in its own right because so far she seems like an okay person.