Diane: "Hey, sorry to just drop by your ... what seems to be a daycare facility for bored legal interns and crazy people ... but I just wanted to say hi. And some other things."
Coyne: "No problem. Just let me clear a space off this table we got from the garbage so you can sit down and drink tea out of this chipped cup. I'm sorry I can't offer you snacks, but at Legal Aid we derive our nutrition from helping people."
Diane: "How is that possible?"
Coyne: "It is not. But it's better than admitting that we are starving to death."
Diane: "How did things get to this point? You're like Big Edie over here."
Coyne: "I was just like you, man. A litigator at Portman & Michaels, on the partner track. But I just just couldn't take the meetings. I turned on, I tuned in, I dropped out. This is where it's really happening, man. On the streets."
Diane: "Oh, see I thought that was a pile of rags, but it was a person."
Coyne: "Yeah, that's our appeals department. She naps mostly. But it's fine, because nobody ever calls."
Diane: "Well, I'm sure that is hard, but I just wanted to say that we won't be doing any more pro bono work for you. We hate poor people, and do-gooders."
Coyne: "That's a stone bummer, man. Don't stress about it."
Diane: "I mean, seeing the abject nature of your fight against an uncaring and monolithic system has been eye-opening, but I'm really more interested in siphoning off as much money as possible from the bankrupting of America right now. Like a... Like a remora, or some other kind of parasite."
Coyne: "I get that, man. I really do. I grok that."
Diane: "Maybe when I get my shit together, I will extend our pro bono services to you again, but frankly that seems totally unlikely right now."
Coyne: "That's no problem, man. We probably won't be here when or if you do. We just lost our state funding, so, whatever."
Diane: "Wait, what? What the hell are you going to do? Your fight is a righteous one!"
Coyne: "You know, we can still knock on doors and yell at rich people. One thing I've learned in the not-for-profit world is that eventually, someone steps up."
Diane: "Do they?"
Coyne: "Yeah. I mean, apparently not you, but someone. At some point. Anyway, have a great afternoon! If you'll excuse me, I have to smush all the slivers of soap in the communal bathroom together, to make one soap. That's what my day looks like."