DUVERNEY V SNOW PLAIN V APHL
Louis Canning: "Your Honor, sorry I have a disease. I'm here for the All Professional Hockey League. In a stunning turn of events signaling future twists and turns, the APHL is excited to be a part of this case that exposes them as a purveyor of penny-dreadful violence among the mulleted underclass."
There's a video of the last fight, the one that got Duverney all messed up. Will's got a buddy at Northwestern who specializes in hockey brain, of course, so he's going to testify how the team doctors mishandled him back in the day. When I think of a hockey doctor, I think of, like, a jug with XXX on it and a stethoscope made out of twigs and hair and things constantly getting popped back into place without benefit of anesthetic drugs except maybe like ether or a donkey punch. Basically Hart Of Dixie.
Alicia: "Well, they fucked me on my raise, so I'm not going to buy that house. Also, because you are the grossest real estate agent on TV. You make that bitch on American Horror Story look like Mother Goose and it's exhausting dealing with you."
Marina: "I am not done yet! You will rue the day you ever thought of me as a professional."
Tammy: "Will, I'm here to interview you about the hockey thing, because I'm a sports journalist or something."
Will: "Well, I can't talk about a lot of stuff because of my six-month hiatus from the practice of law."
Tammy: "Never let it be said that my spontaneous charming personality doesn't hide a passive-aggressive judgmental streak and the kind of hypocritical selfishness that makes me whine whenever you do the things I say are your prerogative. For I am Tammy!"
Will: "You need to talk to Julius Cain and another lawyer at this firm, since I have to keep pretending I'm not involved in this case."
Tammy: "Is the other lawyer Alicia Florrick? And did you sleep together after I dumped you and went to London? And am I going to make an unholy, unfair stink about this? The answers to all these questions are yes. I'm Tammy!"