Lockhart & Associates is brought into a wrongful death suit that eventually becomes a full-frontal fight against the very concept of hockey once it's revealed that that the plaintiff -- who accidentally snow-ski'd his wife to death -- had his head knocked in a million times beforehand. The case is not exactly fascinating, (although the judge's insane wig is kind of fascinating) but it does cause two surprising ripples:
Number one, Louis "Michael J." Canning shows up working for the hockey league -- and, just like Nancy Crozier two weeks ago, he never really plays his quirky card because he's become symbolic over time for a Deeper Thing About Alicia -- and Tammy shows up to cover the story for her sports journalism thing she does... that I guess is real.
In the wake of the Caitlin Thing, Alicia has no way of knowing how hard Diane went to bat for her raise, or how shitty the ongoing Will mutiny among David Lee, Julius and Eli ended up making it -- so she feels burned on two fronts, because the raise is fractional comparatively. So when Canning plays his usual Pied Piper flute (and brilliantly deflects all of her usual objections about being a turncoat), there's not a lot reason for her to stay loyal.
Also a problem for Lockhart & Associates: Some a-hole has told the Bar Disciplinary Board about how bad Will is at "not discussing the law" while he hangs out, totally discussing the law, all the time, in every scene of this show -- meaning there's a traitor in our midst, duh. Not that Diane cares, because she's all caught up in a love triangle of her own, between that Australian Freddy Krueger motherfucker who is back, and that sexy gun nut Tea Party birther from even further back. She doesn't want to hear about your mess, thank you very much... Which sucks for everybody, because the equity partners at her law firm are a bunch of fucking man-babies with no manners that are still fighting over Will's office, right in front of him.
As part of the proceedings, Alicia pays little Cary Agos a visit, which mystifies him that she even wants to see him even though he is looking particularly beautiful this week, but ultimately the point of that little meeting is to tell us, the viewer, that he's been demoted from the Deputy SA's position -- "self-inflicted wound," he says, never explaining how literal that is -- in pursuit of the higher ideals that Peter will eventually be beating out of him.
In the end, not a shitload goes down. Tammy sniffs out Alicia's involvement in her story and comes to yell at her about sleeping with Will -- always with everything in airquotes, like her whole life is this ironic story she's telling people, which I'm not convinced is why people hate her so damn much -- and then Alicia has to continue mooning over the Highland Park house and her life what once was, while poor Kalinda is doing the same thing... When Alicia tells her to slow down and stop wooing her all the time, Kalinda has to admit she's been stepping her shit up recently, and promises to calm down. It's sad, but also the quintessential, near-silent, all-subtext Alicia/Kalinda scene:
"I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"
"Girl, I know, but you have to calm down. I am not done torturing you yet."
"I KNOW, SORRY."
"It's okay. I know I'm a lot. Let's get back to doing our jobs."
EQUITY PARTNER MTG
Eli & David Lee: "Whine, bitch, moan! We want Will's office and his job and to be in the name of the firm!"
Will: "I am totally sitting right here."
Equity Partners: "We can't hear you! We are blinded by being crazy people!"
Diane: "Look. As the Wendy in this creepy little Lost Boys scenario, it's my job to call you jerks out. And what I'm here to yell at you about this time is, somebody went to the Bar and told them Will has been working on cases. Partially because I hate messes, but mostly because I know you dinks won't tell the truth, I'm not even going to ask who squealed. I'm just going to appeal to the total lie we're all telling that he's not doing that."
Will: "My morality is bendy enough and the scenes with Lionel have been torturous enough that I don't even think it's a lie."
David Lee: "Call me corrupt, but..."
Everybody: "You're corrupt!"
Diane: "The point is, I know you are a bunch of backstabbing vipers, and I am totally cool with that..."
Diane: "...But if you're going to stab each other's asses in the back, I need to be a part of it. Keep your hands where I can see 'em."
Everybody: "...Okay, fine."
Diane: "And if you bitches call a meeting about overruling me, I will take each and every one of you out starting with your nuts. Next order of business. Alicia Florrick wants a raise. I want to give her a ten percent bump..."
Everybody: "We are riled up!"
Will: "I agree with Diane."
Everybody: "And we all know why!"
Diane: "Don't be gross."
David Lee: "Isn't this just because of Peter? And the way she keeps dark demonic forces like Colin and Eli in check?"
Diane: "Mostly the former, but also... Have you ever seen this show? She wins every case. Even this season, with Kalinda as a non-factor, even with Will pretending not to advise her, even when she was waging a one-woman war against Caitlin for no reason, and her naive sense of ethics going down the tubes with every episode, she still won every case. Ergo, she is a good lawyer."
Will: "Damn. They are a bunch of lousy sons of bitches. What are you doing today?"
Diane: "Besides playing them off each other to keep you safe? I have to go to court."
Will: "But you don't have a case today..."