EQUITY PARTNER MTG
Eli & David Lee: "Whine, bitch, moan! We want Will's office and his job and to be in the name of the firm!"
Will: "I am totally sitting right here."
Equity Partners: "We can't hear you! We are blinded by being crazy people!"
Diane: "Look. As the Wendy in this creepy little Lost Boys scenario, it's my job to call you jerks out. And what I'm here to yell at you about this time is, somebody went to the Bar and told them Will has been working on cases. Partially because I hate messes, but mostly because I know you dinks won't tell the truth, I'm not even going to ask who squealed. I'm just going to appeal to the total lie we're all telling that he's not doing that."
Will: "My morality is bendy enough and the scenes with Lionel have been torturous enough that I don't even think it's a lie."
David Lee: "Call me corrupt, but..."
Everybody: "You're corrupt!"
Diane: "The point is, I know you are a bunch of backstabbing vipers, and I am totally cool with that..."
Diane: "...But if you're going to stab each other's asses in the back, I need to be a part of it. Keep your hands where I can see 'em."
Everybody: "...Okay, fine."
Diane: "And if you bitches call a meeting about overruling me, I will take each and every one of you out starting with your nuts. Next order of business. Alicia Florrick wants a raise. I want to give her a ten percent bump..."
Everybody: "We are riled up!"
Will: "I agree with Diane."
Everybody: "And we all know why!"
Diane: "Don't be gross."
David Lee: "Isn't this just because of Peter? And the way she keeps dark demonic forces like Colin and Eli in check?"
Diane: "Mostly the former, but also... Have you ever seen this show? She wins every case. Even this season, with Kalinda as a non-factor, even with Will pretending not to advise her, even when she was waging a one-woman war against Caitlin for no reason, and her naive sense of ethics going down the tubes with every episode, she still won every case. Ergo, she is a good lawyer."
Will: "Damn. They are a bunch of lousy sons of bitches. What are you doing today?"
Diane: "Besides playing them off each other to keep you safe? I have to go to court."
Will: "But you don't have a case today..."