PARTNER
Diane: "So somehow when I told you to cut the Bishop hours, you ended up torqueing Cary into adding even more associates to the team. Nice work."
Alicia: "Part of asserting my authority is telling you that I went over it and you're wrong, there's no more slack to take out."
Diane: "That is not what this task was designed to fuck you up on. So I will be more direct and say, you need to cut ten percent of their billable hours. The end."
ELEVATOR
Alicia: "Oh, hey Will. I'll just take the next one."
Will: "It's fine, we can be on the same elevator. Precedent and history aside, there's nothing saying we're going to make out right now."
Alicia: "Cool. Well, I'm just gonna stand here not looking at you or talking to you. Not only does Diane have me freaked out about our equality with her finger-trap mindgames, but also I'm sleeping with my actual husband, which means kissing you was cheating in a way it wasn't before, when I was married but sleeping with you. Sorry I can't explain any of this, but the thing is that I don't want you knowing that I'm sleeping with my husband."
Will: "Because it would be weird?"
Alicia: "Because I want to sleep with you, in addition to my husband. Which, yes, is weird -- too weird, in fact, to even think about -- but at least this way I have plausible deniability."
Will: "Oh, this is why you never say anything out loud, ever! I finally get it."
GREENGATE
Kalinda: "So like, did you trade old people for a discount? Like as in voter fraud?"
Saxon: "I can't talk to you about that. DOJ is up my rump in a big way."
Kalinda: "About bussing your old people to and fro?"
Saxon: "I can't comment."
Kalinda: "Well, they're dicks. You should know that. And also... Hey, my robot Kalinda eyeballs just noticed a picture on the other side of this room with an almost imperceptible clue on it. Can you show me a bunch of other pictures from that particular day, to confirm what is almost certainly the case-winning detail I have just Kalindered?"
Saxon: "As long as we don't talk about it out loud, I guess?"









Comments