Cary: "Ah, Gardner's got it out for me."
Cutie: "Being Hirsch's clerk is no picnic either. He's on a tear ever since his marriage..."
BAM! HIRSCH TRIAL
Cutie, Looking Hung Over: "Oh man, what happened. I was just playing poker and now I've been subpoenaed to tell on my boss."
Diane: "I'm sorry, sweetie."
Cutie: "I am so pissed right now. I thought you were my friend, Cary!"
Diane: "You're Hirsch's law clerk. Cool. So what have you heard him say about Will?"
Cutie: "Liar, thief..."
Diane: "All the stuff he lied about saying the other day. Huh."
Laura: "Objection. Wait, so is Hirsch the only judge in Cook County that considers Will Gardner a louse and an embarrassment?"
Cutie: "No, they all do. We all make fun of him, all day long. The entire legal community."
Will: "Oh, man. I hate today!"
Laura: "Want to list each and every person that thinks Will is stupid and a poo-poo head?"
Cutie: "[Everybody. Just everybody in the world.]"
Laura: "Wait, but didn't one of those guys recently rule in Will's favor? So just because you think Will is ugly and dumb, it doesn't necessarily prejudice you as a judge. Basically the entire system would grind to a halt if it did. Because everybody -- no offense, Will -- everybody hates you. Because you are the worst."
Cutie The Clerk makes sure we register that he also might be beating up Cary in this episode. The face, Cutie. Be a pal.
Diane: "Okay, hating Will doesn't make him special. But prejudging the case does."
Cary: "So yeah, we need Giada. That's the part of his rant that wouldn't have happened in front of any of my poker buddies."
Will: "Not so sure about that. I kind of keep screwing her and being a dog about it."
Diane: "What about the ex-wife? Or any other evil stuff we could do."
Cary: "Hirsch's ex? I did hear that he's in recovery for alcoholism after all that went down..."
Will: "Whoa, how evil are we today?"
Diane: "Like I'm gonna let one drunk bitch stand between me and the 27th floor. If it meant never having to submit to Nathan Lane again, I'd sell Alicia over here to the highest bidder. Come on with that crap. Release the hounds."
Grace: "So hanging around you has kind of become a full-time job. Listen, are you going to her funeral? You should."