When you're low, my definition of grace goes, that's what picks you up again. That little extra bit in the tank that keeps you from just giving up. Not even in a religious way, just in a way where you know sometimes that you are lucky, or that you should have had a bit more faith in yourself. And then, too, there's the other thing. The blackout you, that keeps you from getting too wild or too sure of yourself. Those lucky, random reminders that you are not a self-sustaining animal but something that relies far more than you can admit on the people around you, good and bad.
I don't know that you really have to worry much, beyond reciprocation, about the people who build you up. They're shining what's already there, showing it to you. That's a kind of grace. But the people who hurt you, they're the ones that are the most helpful. I don't mean like Nick, I don't mean like the ones that you know what you're in for, the ones you use to cut yourself. I mean the ones you never saw coming. The hit you never registered, or the comment that cuts so close to the bone, that's so true, you actually have the rare occasion to turn around and look at your life and the shapes you've assumed. Nobody's as useful as the people who hurt you, if you use it right. And that's the grace we don't talk about: The force that picks you up off the floor is also the one that knocks you off your pedestal. And it will keep doing so, your entire life, every time you think you've found the correct answer, because even if you don't always remember it, the other grace knows: You deserve to keep on growing. Not the cuts, but the healing.
Oh boy. Will and Giada are down to their t-shirts and eating ice cream. And you know what that means.
Giada: "I'm sure not testifying for you in the Hirsch thing. I don't know if you've ever met an old man before, but they tend to show off in exactly that same way for younger people. Younger women, younger men that threaten them. I mean it's pretty much guaranteed, one hundred percent of the time, that's what men do."
Will: "But this is about the law! The truth!"
Giada: "Sitting there, I didn't see what you're talking about. I think you're taking this too far and making a mess of yourself."
Will: "We could subpoena you..."
Giada: "Let's just 'eat ice cream' and talk about 'ethanol.'"
All the promising young men of Chicago's legal world get together and play poker. I guess Cary doesn't usually attend these games very often. I would further guess that he probably won't be welcome back any time soon, because check out this smash cut.