Any time you get the opportunity to remind a person that they have free access -- for the first time in history -- to the sum total of human knowledge, you should take it. It's a muscle we're still in the infancy of developing, so it's important to keep mindful.
Zach: "Hey Mom, did you know you can videotape a cop, just not audiotape them?"
Alicia: "Did they teach that at school?"
Zach: "Um, no. It's kind of been on my mind ever since I videotaped that cop? Where's your head at? Anyway, it's this old law about taping phone calls -- both parties having to consent to the recording -- that hasn't caught up to our current reality."
Alicia: "I see that you found this on a website about legalizing marijuana."
Zach: "No, it's a website about personal rights which, unsurprisingly, mentions legalizing marijuana. See the difference?"
Alicia: "No, because I'm old, but go on."
Zach: "So check this out. The email that I sent myself, that caused my arrest? I'd bluetoothed my phone to the car and forgot to change it back. So what we have is a tape of the arrest, with just that awful chicken song playing."
Oh, the beautiful smile of Alicia Florrick. How rarely we do see you.
CUT STRAIGHT TO
Judge: "Can you please turn that fucking song off? It's worse than the Mindy Project theme."
Alicia: "I know, right? And Zach's the one with good taste. Anyway, my kid never recorded audio, which means there was no violation of Article 14, so we ask the court to enter a finding of no probable cause."
Judge: "Sounds good to me. ASA Williams?"
The SA for Madison County, Phil Tapia, comes running in and supplies another ASA.
Altman: "Sorry to take over this trial and totally change everything around, but we've just randomly decided to argue that the problem here was never Article 14 but obstruction of justice."
Alicia: "Do you guys know how the law even basically works? That wasn't the charge. It's not what this trial was made for."
Altman: "Okay, but say we want to file an additional charge and you can drop the first one..."
Alicia: "Your Honor, give a sister a break, this is ridiculous. The only one obstructing justice is Officer Robb, with his illegal traffic stop in the first fuckin'..."
Altman: "Unlike in Cook County, the backwoods don't like that kinda talk."