The Good Wife
I Fought The Law…

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 34 USERS: A+
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The Forfeiture Corridor

Kalinda: "Hey, why were you harassing my best friend?"
Bill, is his name: "She called us, because of your tax issues. No foul."
Kalinda: "No, but why did you call her at home?"

Bill has no answer for that, for the same reason his phone turned out to be a gun, but luckily -- for him, in a few limited ways -- the phone rings: It's Nick. Before he can answer, Kalinda kicks the shit out of Bill, pulls a giant hammer out of some kind of Ramona Flowers extradimensional hammer pocket, and crushes his fingers into a soft jelly.

Kalinda: "Bill can't come to the phone right now. I have smashed him to bits."
Nick, silently: "Please stop beating up on my Bill and come home, my dearest love."
Kalinda: "There are easy ways to get this across than beating hell out of your Bill, but just so we're clear, I am just not that into you. Forget about me and find somebody else to choke in bed."
Nick, silently: "I'm afraid I cannot do that, Kalinda."
Kalinda, kicking Bill some more: "This is so awkward!"

After all that's left is a pile of pieces of Bill, Kalinda hangs up on the silent Nick and heads for the door.

Bill: "If you run again, he'll just find you again."
Kalinda: "Duh, Bill. Just... Duh."

THESE KIDS TODAY WITH THEIR CHICKEN MUSIC

With Alicia asleep in the backseat, Zach is driving home to Chicago from checking out colleges. He and Grace have selected a "Crazy Chicken" type song for the drive that makes your eyes bleed -- imagine the theme song from The Mindy Project, but sung by Gonzo's chickens -- and I'd imagine somewhere inside there, Alicia's happy to be missing it. Or else dreaming about being attacked by a thousand obnoxious chickens.

This was previously Uncle Owen's car, which Alicia bought Zach after some good deed or another. Or maybe as a bribe? I remember there being something very Florrick Morality about the circumstances, like, "I'm not buying you this car for slapping your bitch grandmother in the face, but the facts remain that 1) you slapped your grandmother in the face and 2) you now have a car."

Anyway, a recognizable actor playing a cop guy pulls them over, causing Alicia to stare around blearily for a moment before getting her game face on. While everybody is very well-behaved, like you should be with cops, Zach and Alicia are both smart enough to try and get, ya know, a reason for the stop. Several times. He just puts them off with a bureaucratic air, and pulls Zach out for a private conference. Grace, of course, is no help at all, but she and Alicia do a quick rundown of all the things that could be going on. They come up with nothing in particular.

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The Good Wife

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