Zach: "Mom, do you know an improbable woman named Elsbeth Tascioni? Because it sounds like a hoax, and I have Eli on the other line."
Alicia: "She is kind of like a hoax, but very real. Get off the phone with your little friend, so I can see what she wants."
Zach: "But moooooooommmmmm"
Alicia: "You can talk to your buddy Eli when I'm done. Chop-chop."
Alicia: "Elsbeth! The greatest of the guest stars. Whatever can I do for you?"
Elsbeth: "I need you to cover a contract enforcement arbitration for me, okay?"
Alicia: "Like it's ever that straightforward with you. What, is Natalie Wood going after Santa Claus again? Tom Cruise pulling out of his billion-year contract with Xenu?"
Alicia: "I am in jail for harassing the CEO of the company involved, and also it involves the Olympics tribunal. But I'm saving those facts for in a minute."
Eli: "I've got my other superhackers working on your screenshot, don't worry..."
Zach: "Maddie Hayward's going after you on racial bias..."
Eli: "Speaking as another rich white man, I can assure you your father has none of those. Rich white men are the authority on what is and is not racially biased."
Zach: "That sounds fishy. But also, she's got two ASAs currently working for Dad who say otherwise. They're black, and..."
Eli: "A bluff!"
Zach: "Not really, because who are they bluffing if it's internal strategic documents? Come on, Eli."
Eli: "Don't call me my name! I am an adult, you are a child!"
Zach: "Ugh, whatever. Sir. Just stop being a douchebag and take this seriously."
RICH WHITE GUY LUNCHEON
Maddie Hayward: "I know I call myself a feminist and everything, but we all know I am a captain of industry just like you guys. The only difference between me and you -- and Peter Florrick over there -- is that I believe women and minorities are people. Or at least we can all agree to pretend that's true. Am I right?"
Old Rich White Guys: "It has become the fashion!"
Eli: "Zach was just telling me she was going to do that, and now she is doing that."