Dr. Ellis Grey, Atty At Law: "Spurious feminist declaration of linguistic oppression, referring to 'Mr. Drescher' and 'Mr. Sweeney' but calling Miss Swift 'Isobel'!"
Alicia: "You old hag, stop trying to play defense with the female authority figure. We're all women here. When you do that, you have to make it count or else you're just whoring us all out. Like prostitutes, or women who use birth control."
Judge Bebe Neuwirth: "I mean, it was a valid point, but do you think you could stop being bitches long enough to get back to this injunction. Is everybody on the rag today, or what?"
Colin: "...I imagine he was impressed by Ms. Swift's tremendous work in softcore movies..."
Everybody: "Jesus Christ! Stop it."
Colin: "...I was surprised that Gerald kept her on. 'Gerald' is, of course, 'Mr. Drescher' over there."
Heh heh. I didn't even notice that whole thing the first time through. Think maybe I'm onto something.
Kalinda: "So I have these two dinner receipts, of the same amount, for Gerald and Isobel. Meaning they had dinner and split the bill. Proving she is a trollop."
Super Creepy Waitress: "I've seen them together, but I mean, she's a CEO Slut."
Kalinda: "First of all, don't talk about other women that way. And second of all, what the fuck is that even?"
Wicked Creepy Waitress: "She's always hanging on the CEOs... Like that other guy..."
Kalinda: "Don't say it don't say it don't say it..."
Incredibly Creepy Waitress: "Uh, Colin Sweeney! That guy who killed his wife."
Kalinda: "Ugh. Fine. What happened?"
Manic Creepy Waitress: "They fucked in the men's room! What a total whore!"
LOCKHART & ASSOC
Colin: "Fine. She blew me. But it was before I hired her, and I didn't sexually harass her..."
Alicia: "Dude, you perjured yourself. You said you never had sex."
Colin: "It wasn't real sex! Just a blowjob."
Alicia: "Don't you know how damaging it is culturally to privilege penetrative vaginal sex over other forms of sex? Do you not understand that this primary definition of sex was created and perpetuated purely to keep women's sexuality under control until they were sold to their husbands?"
Colin: "Okay, Vassar. I'm just saying I didn't perjure myself. I got five blowjobs, they were nothing special..."
Alicia: "Oh my God, you got her pregnant. That's where this ends. You're going to be weird and gross and scary and eventually you're going to say, 'Oh, Mrs. Florrick, did I forget to mention that I impregnated her' and then I am going to clock you. Just slap your face."
Colin: "No. Yes. No. Maybe!"