And what sucks is that Ms. Swift is lying. But because Colin decided to say things in a certain way, we're going for another round, where Alicia can't ask any questions about this and the opposition is probably going to get him to lie further. Or who knows, say something even more dreadful just out of sheer bloody-minded freakiness.
Incredibly Rude Real Estate Agent: "This is the best I can do, for your budget and in a neighborhood close to that private school David Lee insisted you pay for."
Alicia: "It's pretty steep."
IRREA: "There's more opening up in the summer, but you'll be homeless in 90 days... Although I do have one very fucked up thing on the table."
Alicia: "Great, what is it."
IRREA: "Remember your old house in Highland Park where you raised your children and your husband cheated on you with prostitutes and ruined your entire life?"
Alicia: "No. Weird."
IRREA: "OR IS IT?"
Alicia: "...Yeah, no. That's weird."
IRREA, verbatim: "Maybe we're all like salmon, just trying to swim upstream to get back to our homes again..."
Alicia: "Maybe not. Maybe we realize that would be nice, but we're grownups. If you'll excuse me, my phone is ringing."
IRREA: "By all means, answer it. Again."
Diane: "Caitlin already filled me in, so don't bother blathering about it. I just wanted to say I love her idea."
Alicia: "Her idea? What fuckin' idea was that, pray tell?"
Diane: "To prep Sweeney on the ethical line he has to walk to avoid further perjury."
Alicia: "Did she tell you this while you were out shopping for shoes? Are you going to adopt her and call her Justice and make her breakfast every morning?"
Diane: "Very droll. Have her keep me up to date. She's got good instincts for a first-year, huh?"
Alicia: "I bet you don't even remember my good instincts from when I was a first-year. You don't even love me! You never did!"
LOCKHART & ASSOC
Essentially, since it's now his word against hers -- thanks, Alicia -- they specifically cannot advise him to be a bastard on the stand, or do things like disputing her true-but-uncorroborated statements, or attacking her credibility every chance he gets.
Colin: "Yes, I appreciate your not advising me to do those things."
Alicia: "Your ethics ping on the weirdest shit. So then when I redirect, I want you to let me drive, okay? Actually answer my questions honestly and truthfully. That's the only way I can question you. If you can't do that, you will sink us and I will have to leave the case."
Colin: "Well, I certainly won't be doing that. Like I do every time I'm on this show."
David Lee: "This is going to be a shitshow."