(And Alicia is the only person, essentially, to whom he's admitted this, which is when their relationship really started in earnest, because that's when he started giving her things: When she admitted she was asking whether he did it just because she herself needed to know. That he'd tempted her to look down the hole; that she'd gotten just a little bit tainted by the grotesque. Then it was creepy art, favors, whatever he thought she would like. Because he knows that every gift is redeemable for a little piece of her, and because the game of finding ways to make her accept them is analogous to a relationship, in his twisted head. If he just makes that point enough times, I think, eventually she'll like him back -- but more importantly she will have been changed.)

Colin, abject: "I like you, Alicia. Why don't you like me?"
Alicia: "You killed your wife?"
Colin: "And there's nothing I can do about that?"
Alicia, weighing it: "Um, testify on this case?"
Colin: "Would that help you?"
Alicia: "It would help forty families suing Hammett Aerospace."
Colin: "Yes, and I'm sure they're all adorable, but will it help you."

Just perfection. Even Alicia is like, "Oh, fuck. This is somehow going to end in my grisly murder, I just know it."

WEIRDO TUTOR

Alicia: "So thanks for waiting for me, I had to interview Hannibal Lecter. Can I get you a coffee?"
Tutor: "No-just-tell-me-what-we-are-doing-here-so-I-can-go-back-to-being-weird."
Alicia: "You're doing a great job as tutor, but I'm confused about the dancing thing."
Tutor: "I-like-making-them."

Alicia: "You're what, 22? You know my daughter is 14."
Tutor: "We-are-friends."
Alicia: "Just talking to you makes my skin crawl."

Alicia: "But okay so like, why do you make these videos?"
Tutor: "I-like-making-them."
Alicia: "Right but like what are they for."
Tutor: "They-are-for-the-Internet."
Alicia: "So wait, like, you make money from them?"
Tutor: "You-don't-really-understand-the-Internet."
Alicia: "Honey, I don't really understand art. You just make things? For your own enjoyment?"
Tutor: "That-is-what-I-am-saying."
Alicia: "That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard."

That whole conversation made me laugh so much, just Alicia's jaw-dropped discovery of the concept of making art. She is many wonderful things, but that is not where her creativity resides. She's a workhorse, not a show pony. I mean, can you imagine Alicia Florrick taking, like, a pottery class? Or a cooking class? Line dancing?