(Tiger Mother: "First prize is a set of steak knives. Second prize is, you're fired.")

Grace: "Moooooooooooommmmmmmm"
Alicia: "God. What."
Grace: "My tutor just robotically left as soon as we were done studying, and didn't take a bath with me and braid my hair and clip my toenails and tuck me in like usual. What have you done."
Alicia: "I just told her to be a tutor."
Grace: "That's what she did. She taught me a great deal, and continued to improve my grades, and excited me about learning in new ways. It was awful. You are a monster."
Alicia: "She is fuckin' 22 years old! Why is everybody up my ass today?"
Grace: "On her driver's license it might say she's 22. But in the ways that count, she is a dorky fourteen-year-old who is lost in the world, same as me."

Alicia: "You're right, but I can't agree with that, so let's change train tracks. I am not paying her to be your friend, but your tutor. Therefore, her fondness for you is unprofessional. I could take her to babysitter court and she could be fined in imaginary babysitter money and they could take away her tutoring license in the state of Illinois. That is a real thing."
Grace: "Um, no it isn't. And also, I have no friends. Were you unaware of the fact that I am lonely and weird and friendless? Did that somehow slip you by?"
Alicia: "You're winning... Willpower decreasing... Mommy feelings activating..."
Grace, pressing her advantage: "And you're always at work..."

Alicia: "-- Nope! No, see, you fucked that one up. You just lost all momentum when you played that card. And you were so close, honey. I'm sorry you're so bad at this, along with everything else. At least emotional manipulation could have seen you through the rougher years, but I'm afraid without that you don't have a whole lot going for you. Good thing you're cute, when you're not making this horrible face you're making. In fact, let's switch tracks again. Since the last three reasons were bullshit and we both pretty much know that, I'm down to my weakest defense -- the idea that filming yourself dancing will somehow endanger you physically. Lots of mayhem out on those streets and on the El. Lots of things can happen, while you're dancing and having fun like a totally normal teenager."