Alicia, overjoyed: "Will, thank you so much for this grand opportunity! I can't wait to mentor some young person and teach them the way that Diane has always taught me."
Will: "Don't thank me, thank David Lee. I am still pretending to dislike you. Also, when this blows up in your face, I don't want you to think any of it was my idea."
Alicia: "Fuck me for hoping one single time in my life that anybody would honestly feel like I'm a human being, without any caveats. I mean, thanks."

Will: "And hey, if you were feeling paranoid about Celeste, I just wanted to tell you that you should be feeling totally paranoid about Celeste. That bitch is gunning for you."
Alicia: "I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't really react to things."
Will, waving at Crazypants: "I don't know if you've noticed, but it is killing me."

DAVID LEE:

David Lee: "So we can't use 'Cole divorce' as our cover word anymore, because I actually have a Cole divorce."
Alicia: "No big. Turns out constantly fucking Will has really taken the edge off."
David Lee: "You're 'separated,' meaning your marriage is on life support and you're too weak and dumb to pull the plug. Let me lay down some science on you. Nobody who ever 'separated' ever once got back together, in the history of life on this planet. It's just something dumb housewives like you say instead of contemplating the cold abyss of your lonely existence."
Alicia: "It's always nice talking to you, David Lee."
David Lee: "It's always nice reminding you that I'm the only person in this entire firm who is at least upfront with you about your value as a spurned wife and a Florrick."
Alicia: "True enough. Not even Eli can say that shit out loud most of the time."

David Lee: "Also, don't put your kids in private school."
Alicia: "Don't tell me what to do with my kids, David Lee. My daughter is a trainwreck and I need to get her away from the Internet, before she does a dance."
David Lee: "That's cute that you think I give a shit about you. No, I'm saying don't put them into private school unless you make Peter pay for half of it. You have to create a fiction on paper that you can't afford it, or else he will make you pay him alimony."
Alicia: "I have forgotten how family law works, or how money works, and apparently believe that life is the Honor System today. Also, stop planning for a divorce that is obviously going to happen."