Will: "So Elsbeth, you are the best."
David Lee: "Not that we're automatically hiring you for this..."
Everybody: "Uh, yeah you are. One does not simply 'consider' Elsbeth Tascioni. You just thank the Gods that her home dimension revolved into ours long enough for her to be our friend this week."
Elsbeth: "Okay, how long has this girl been working there?"
L/G: "Like two years. Why?"
Elsbeth: "I don't know. I just keep asking questions until they make sense."
David Lee: "Christ on a cracker."
Elsbeth: "Who's representing her?"
L/G: "Viola Walsh. LA harpy, opening offices here to bother us more often..."
Elsbeth: "How tall is she? It is for a magic spell maybe."
Alicia: "I dunno, like five seven?"
Elsbeth: "Uh huh. Interesting. Think this is because your firm is falling apart, maybe?"
L/G: "Grumble grumble yes."
Elsbeth: "Then let's call this tall chick's bluff. Slime her before she can slime you."
David Lee: "...Oh okay, now I get it."
Alicia & Will: "There it is. Now officially nobody doesn't love her. Diane would be so jealous if she knew we were hanging out with Elsbeth."
Jackie has decided that, rather than the state seal that has always hung over the foyer reception desk, the first thing everybody should see is a giant portrait of her handsome son. This is both because she is a fascist, and a grandma. Eli tries to explain the two ways at least in which that's offensive, replacing the seal with his face, but she's not having it, because what are you, new? Jackie doesn't have time for sense.
Eli: "Jackie, I can't do the whole back-and-forth with you, I don't have the time and I certainly don't have the respect. You seem confused by the fact that you have worn out all your credit with me. You wasted it on stupid, petty shit, and now I just think you're stupid."
Jackie: "I won't hear it, and I won't respond to it."
Eli: "Your son is the Governor. Your nickel and dime bullshit could actually affect the state of Illinois. I can't afford, as a political operative, to indulge your bullshit."
Jackie: "I will tattle!"
Eli: "You go right the fuck ahead. But when you want something, you come to me. You don't put it on Alicia, you don't mess around with good old Nora and you don't consult with your hallucinations. You come to me."