KRESTEVA AT LAW
Mike: "Okay team, remember that we're going to have to section off our entire firm, like they did with Eli, between politics and legal... Oh, Alicia's here! Leave."
Alicia: "Good day, motherfucker."
Mike, smarming: "So very sorry I didn't mention the press conference when I saw you moments beforehand! I just didn't want the campaign to get in the way of the Panel report you so desperately wanted to rehash when you invited me to your office."
Alicia: "Do what?"
Mike: "Remember? When you tried to get me to change the report?"
Mike: "Which part are you misremembering?"
Alicia: "EVERYTHING! ALL THE PARTS! YOU ARE A LIAR!"
Mike: "Would you like some water or something? You can calm down and tell me what parts of what really happened in reality that you've decided to disagree with."
Alicia: "I DON'T WANT A WATER I WANT TO FIGHT! YOU ARE LIKE THE EVIL ELSBETH RIGHT NOW! IT'S FREAKING ME OUT!"
Mike: "Our memories seem to diverge at several points..."
Alicia: "YOU ARE WILLY WONKA! YOU ARE MAKING THINGS BE LIKE THE MATRIX!"
Mike: "Alicia, how on earth can you play pretend at such a sensitive time for us both?"
Leaning into her face, impossibly far in, like a Disney villain ten feet tall. And abruptly, she flips. Goes cold where she was hot. Retreats back to the part of the carpet she's standing on, and remembers who she is.
Alicia: "You are going to lose, my friend."
Mike: "Am I? And to whom?"
Alicia: "To Peter. Now."
Mike: "No I won't. And you know why? He won't even enter the race."
Alicia: "Whatever, bro. Just stop lying about me."
Mike: "First of all, I'm not. And second of all, a lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still tying its shoes. I read that on a box of reusable produce bags that help seal in freshness."
She walks out backwards so they can keep staring at each other, and they are both a little huffy, but neither of them blinks a single time and it is so, so scary.
Which I appreciate, because welcome to Matthew Perry, but for me the meat of this story -- and the ways it comments on the other two -- is all in the scene with Eli, so you can just sit back and enjoy the theatre because the real story has already been defined: The curious thing to a law student about the Alford Doctrine would be that it's both at once. Yes, you are guilty, but no, you are not guilty.