The Good Wife
Pants On Fire

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Alford Doctrine

JACKIE CALLS

Alicia: "Hello, you old bitch. Nice one stealing the down payment money from Grace and Zach's trust. Do you enjoy the feeling of me squeezing your balls into testicular oblivion?"
Jackie: "I had a stroke."
Alicia: "Very funny, you nasty old thing. Now, as for what I'm gonna do to you..."
Jackie: "Girl, I had a stroke. And because Peter isn't taking my calls, he doesn't know that. So I need you to call him, and tell him I'm in the hospital. A scared old woman in the hospital who needs her son. Please do this one thing for me."

Yes, Jackie is in the hospital. No, Jackie cannot be trusted. But either way, as Alicia rolls her eyes even now, either way Jackie just pulled a total Alford.

SCARY ELEVATOR

Peter: "Why Mike Kresteva, what a surprise to find you here. Where I stalked you, with my Chris Noth eyebrows going absolutely all the way right now."
Mike: "My dear Peter. Have you decided whether I'll have the pleasure of beating you soundly, in gubernatorial fashion?"
Peter: "No private lives. No families. No wives. Or else."
Mike: "Oh, but my darling Pete -- take the next fucking elevator, bystanders, because this might get real -- I have no intention of doing anything other than destroying you via your wife."
Peter: "Do you want me to go crazy on you?"
Mike: "No, Peter, I want you out of this race. Or else your wife will be destroyed."
Peter: "I am going to run for Governor of Illinois. It is going to be dirty -- so very fucking dirty -- and it is going to be hard -- harder than you've ever seen -- and it is going to be scorched-earth, salt the plains, lamentation of the women shit. I am going to invent new ways to make you want to take your own life."
Mike: "Cool! I hope your wife enjoys the hell I'm going to rain on her."
Peter: "Well I don't plan on telling her about that. Good day, sir!"

Mike: "Your phone's ringing. Is that your wife? Screaming in terror because of something that I have done? No, it is not. Not yet. But it will be. Think about that every time your phone ri..."
Peter: "-- Dude, sorry. I seriously have to take this."
Mike: "No problem, I can wait."
Peter: "She what? I'll be right there. Mike, I'm really sorry, we're going to have reschedule this elevator thing, I've got a thing."

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