The Good Wife
Pants On Fire

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Alford Doctrine

Mike: "Is everything okay?"
Peter: "Yeah, I just... My mom is either acting out or in serious health trouble. So I gotta..."
Mike: "Yeah, no, no, I totally get it. I'll call you."
Peter: "Thanks, Mike. And listen, I'm going to fuck you in your eyesockets."
Mike: "I look forward to it! And to setting your wife on fire, bro!"

HOSPITAL

So small, so frail. Pretty hair all jacked up. Old ladies in hospital beds are the worst thing, aren't they? Even old ladies you don't like, something about that bed just does me in.

Alicia: "I'm coming in. Hello? I'm coming in, okay?"
Jackie: Beckons with one skinny, vicious finger.
Alicia: "What is it, mother dear and/or kidnapper of my kids?"
Jackie: "Closer still."
Alicia: As close as she can get without getting snatched bald.

Because did she have a stroke? Yes, she had a stroke. No, she didn't have a stroke. Doesn't matter. Alford Doctrine.

Jackie, sibilant: "I forgive you."
Alicia: "Oh, motherfu..."

Peter, rushing in: "Is she okay? Oh my God, is my mother alive?"
Jackie: "Come to me, beloved son. Gaze upon me, maybe for the last time."

Alicia, almost kinda loving it: "This is such fucking horseshit."
Jackie, silently: "Either way? Suck it. I win. Again."

GOLDS

The scene is painful, but not on paper, because of Vanessa the character versus Parker Posey, the living legend, so I will just tell you: He drops her, as he knew he would, and she thinks she knows why, and he can't outright apologize because he can't tell her the real reason -- that she's doomed, that she will not be a member of the Illinois Senate no matter what he does -- because that would break her and she wouldn't hear him anyway.

So he says, "This pains me," things like that, and what he's saying is that it's literally sad for him, but what she hears is that he doesn't care, and what she says, to her credit, is, "Oh, sorry about your pain." And she goes walking out the door and he thinks about how maybe he fell back in love with her, and it's sad but not prohibitively so, because it's Eli. Doing the right thing, for the right reasons, and yet still somehow ending up a chump.

FORMER DEPUTY STATE'S ATTY

Alicia: "Hypothetically, if I knew one of the girls was guilty, would you drop it against other two?"

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The Good Wife

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