The case of the week, in which Caitlin is pitted against Martha (who works for Canning now, just like Alicia will someday, according to him), involves Jennifer Carpenter playing a crummy English Lit professor who lodges a fake sexual harassment complaint after she's fired for being ten different kinds of asshole. It's interesting, if you're the kind of person who is thrilled by concretist religious debate, but probably educational for those people who think the Bible justifies their bigotry. (Spoiler! It doesn't.)
Speaking of sodomites, Kalinda is interrupted before closing the deal with Dana by the sudden abduction of Grace Florrick, whom she secretly tracks and rescues and returns home without the terrified Alicia ever finding out who her guardian angel really is. (I expect that will last a long time, Alicia not finding that out and reconciling with her best friend. We're coming up on half-a-season of this, you guys.)
The storied abduction takes place like 40 minutes into the episode, but makes up for that with sheer suspenseful horror feelings as Alicia, Michael J. Fox's Louis Canning, and the entire Cook County PD get in on the act. Where is she? Oh, of course she's just off getting baptized in some South Side church, because that's how her bullshit rolls, but the frightening farce does manage to reshuffle some important relationships.
For starters, Peter is the only person she can depend on during the several-hour crisis, especially considering she's just blatantly ignoring Will's phone calls now. And then, of course, there's the whole snafu with Diane, who's making their affair a sticking point in renewing the Lockhart/Gardner partnership that forms the basis of their firm.
So it's mommies and daddies and temporary détentes all round, I guess; even Eli manages to get a little closer to still-frosty Will, eventually promising to find out more about Wendy's investigation through his old buddy Peter. A very important storyline, to be sure, but especially now that Andrew Wiley -- the guy who broke Leela to begin with -- is involved.
Between some public breakdowns, a subtle talking-to from Grace, weird vibes -- consider that everybody except her now knows about the investigation -- and the abduction, it's kind of a relief for everybody when Alicia finally breaks up with Will, for the reason of: Too much dang stuff going on all the time. Will wins points with Diane, who thinks it was his idea, but is secretly devastated since he was about to try and buttonhole her into a greater commitment. Bad timing, you say.
Next week: Something hinky went down with a previous jury, Cary has Kalinda arrested, and hopefully everybody circles the wagons, now that all's back on track at L/G.
Alicia has one of those horrible dreams where Grace is talking.
Grace: "Mom, wake up! I'm in trouble!"
(Scary noises of waking up from a dream.)
Alicia, The Grace Whisperer: "Whew, it was just a dream. Thank God Grace wasn't abducted and brutally murdered. So far."
IN REAL LIFE
Alicia has one of those horrible moments where Grace is talking.
Grace: "Mom, why do you keep calling me all the time?"
Alicia: "Just tell Zach to stay off the Turnpike."
Grace & Zach: "They're talking about L/G on the radio, also. Some guy named Donald Pike got a witness killed."
Alicia, hilariously distraught: "Colin Sweeney? Awesome! But also I hope not!"
Grace & Zach: "[Vaguely this has something to do with the firm itself.]"
Alicia: "I am very overprotective today for some foreshadowing reason. Keep me apprised of your whereabouts and leave a trail of Post-Its everywhere you go in case you are brutally murdered over several days."
The constant jump-cutting is really effective and scary. This show is so amazing, like, they're actually succeeding at making you worry that Grace might be murdered and become a ghost that won't let Alicia get her rest.
Clumsy Caitlin, dropping briefs and whatnot: "I am so scared of being a lawyer suddenly!"
Alicia: "Don't worry about it. You're going to do so great. Plus, this is just arbitration with a $35K cap. The opposition will just go through the motions. Pretend it's just college."
Dexter's Sister: (Sits down looking totally intimidating.)
Caitlin, expositing: "Here comes the opposing counsel. She doesn't look too threatening."
Dexter's Sister: "Did you see me twist my shit all around in that exorcism movie? That was not CGI. I am super scary all the time. Except on Dexter, where I am the only interesting thing."
Martha: "Hey, bitches!"
Alicia: "Martha, it's so nice to see you! I hope you don't hold any grudges ever since I dicked you around and hired a firm partner's niece behind your back so that you lost your first job and had to go work for my archenemy, Michael J. Fox."
Caitlin: "Hey, I'm the girl that ruined your life! No hard feelings I hope."
Martha: "Wow, she's got real pretty hair, huh? I am about to twist my shit all around like this is an exorcism."
Alicia: "Let's talk about that for a really long time, okay? I love awkward situations more than anything. Or else I could lecture you on how 'bout you don't hold a grudge."
Martha: "How about you shut your old ass up and go sit next to your blonde ho."
Alicia: "So I guess coffee's out."