INVESTIGATOR SUBCOMMITTEE APPLICANT #1: GOOD OLD WALT
The first guy is a former Sergeant who retired after 22 years to be an investigator. Good Old Walt, he calls himself. He seems affable and whatever, not stupid, just grimy like an investigator, but then Alicia's like, "How would you feel about working with a woman investigator?"
Good Old Walt: "No complaints here. I love the ladies, and the ladies love me."
Alicia & Diane: "And you're done. Even if you mean that in the best possible way, there is still no way you're working for us. Or, frankly, with Kalinda, who would find you unacceptable. And PS, the ladies love her, too. You're lookin' at two of 'em. Ciao."
Kalinda: "So what's up, man? You got three ex-cops out in Reception. Am I getting replaced or do you honestly expect me to deal with those dudes?"
Will: "First of all, how do you know they're..."
Kalinda: "You're filibustering."
Will: "Yeah, okay. No, you're not being replaced. Yes, we're getting a second investigator. Think of it as, we're expanding your department."
Kalinda: "I have no desk. But I have a department? Am I the boss of this department? Shouldn't I be in on the interviews?"
Will: "No. And no. But I'll tell you this, Alicia jumped on in there to be a part of the subcommittee, meaning you're covered. Okay?"
Kalinda: "Sure. Because when has this firm ever fucked me over in precisely this way, except like constantly all the time."
Will: "Don't you have a chef to charm, dude?"
Kalinda: "Yeah, I better go do that job I do so exceedingly well for your firm that you have won every case that ever happened thanks almost entirely to me."
Kalinda: "Whatever, dude. I'm here from L/G, you're acting cagey, tell me you're happy."
DeLuca: "I'm fine."
Kalinda: "Really? Because you have the invoice profile of a person who is not fine. And I wanted you to know that we're giving a five-percent discount [for votes!] for clients who lock in with a retainer..."
DeLuca: "Look, you're cute, I'm gonna give it to you straight. Lately I don't feel beloved."
Kalinda: "Okay. How can we make you feel all special again?"
DeLuca: "In [my experience/the exact words probably of Cary Agos], the larger the firm, the harder it is to change their behavior. It's not about teaching an old dog new tricks, it's about teaching a big dog! To... Whatever the metaphor would be."
Kalinda: "Oh, a smaller dog, huh? Like a tiny little dog? Sexy as all get out, perhaps? With dimples and an ass you could pop a quarter off of, and those piercing blue eyes full of promises and seductions and an ever-present twinkle inviting you into a private joke that only the two of you share?"