The Good Wife
The Art Of War

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Captain & I

Eli: "Oh, it's good. Her cousin in Greater Illinois's going through a nasty divorce four years ago, and suddenly the wife accuses him of molesting their nine-year-old..."
K Chen: "That's dark, for this show."
Eli: "...The kid testified against her father and he was convicted..."
K Chen: "You're creeping me out right now."
Eli: "Prison for twelve years, currently serving his time. And just you guess who prosecuted him."
K Chen: "Four years ago, Peter Florrick would have been the SA the first time..."
Eli: "You can't tell anybody I told you this."

K Chen: "So you're saying my competitor, Mandy Post, wrote a story about Peter Florrick's sex life as payback for prosecuting her cousin?"
Eli: "I'm just saying it's interesting. I mean, he wasn't the prosecutor exactly..."
K Chen: "What are you even giving me, then?"
Eli: "The chance to do actual journalism. You haven't seen this chick's dead-eyed zealotry. It's like looking into a mirror and seeing Wendy Scott-Carr looking back. It'll fuck you up."
K Chen: "Well. I guess it's worth it to be on this show with everybody I love and where Jacob gets to look at me all the time. I just hope I don't get bonked by another..."

(The 29th floor crashes in on them, under a herd of rampaging elephants who are themselves being crushed by a fleet of cement trucks owned by Nick Savarese. Eli protects her tiny firm body with his own tinier, firmer body. They are both going to be okay.)

99 PROBS

Peter: "Hey Alicia, so like the story is coming out after all about our open marriage."
Jackie: "PETER! I AM DOING SOMETHING CRAZY!"
Peter: "Just a minute, Mom. Anyway, so now you know."
Alicia: "I have to admit this story still makes me giggle. Have we talked to Maddie Hayward? Are you okay for money?"
Peter: "Oh, she's somewhere in the shadows, grumbling like the Gmork. We're okay for now."
Jackie: "PETER! ACTING OUT OVER HERE!"
Peter: "Sorry, I have to go. My mother is being horrible."
Alicia: "What else is new. Is she firing her fifteenth caretaker?"
Peter: "Yeah, who knew she didn't like women?"
Alicia: "I would come over there and stab you through the hand right now for saying that, but I'm very busy. Listen, try getting her a male caretaker."

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The Good Wife

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