LOCKHART, GARDNER

Diane: "Um, Wasid just left and he is firing us for sure. Defending a youth who makes light of a suicide bombing will undercut Eli's pro-Muslim campaign, which is more important to everybody."
Alicia: "Diane, you are not down with the gamerz. It's just a game. Don't be such a n00b."
Diane: "Be that as it may, however n00b I appear to you, we are fucked."
Alicia: "Um, to review, Jimal was looking at misdemeanor battery. We helped him into a murder charge."
Will: "Word choice."
Alicia: "Fucking okay, I personally helped him into a murder charge, while representing this firm. We made a commitment to him."

Diane & Will: "Wasid is going to pull out, and Eli is going to dance a tarantella of rage. Which is not going to be fun, although it could be cool to watch. But she is right. We broke it, we bought it. Alicia, please get him out of all of these various crimes, okay?"
Alicia: "I'm on it!"

Wasid: "Hi, Eli. You are fired."
Eli: "Nope. Already cashed your check. You know us Jews!"
Wasid: "Stop making me look racist! Stop trying to dick me around!"
Eli: "To be honest, it's because you are hot when you're mad. And besides, you can't fire me. I already created a fantastic campaign for you and you are going to love it."
Wasid: "It will not be clear at the end of this episode, but it seems like we're done here."

Wasid: "Did you hear the one about the Arab and the Jew?"
Eli: "No! But I'm sure it's very funny."
Wasid: "An Arab and a Jew walk into a bar. And then they kill each other."

Not funny! Not funny, Wasid. Grim and scary and awful and sad! Why are the hot people on this show always the creepiest ones? I bet I can come up with something right now. An Arab and a Jew walk into a bar...

An Arab and a Jew walk into a bar owned by a racist white Republican. He pretends he doesn't hate them both equally; he keeps pouring them both free drinks until they barf. Everyone acts like assholes, and in the morning everybody is embarrassed, but the racist white Republican gets to keep all the money. And that, my friends, is fucking hilarious.