There's a riot at one of end of a college, and a murder at the other end. The riot arises from an interfaith rally of Muslims and Jews; the murder involves a swastika drawn poorly in blood on a young Jewish student's forehead. One of Diane's friends, an Islamic politico, brings L/G what starts as a trumped hate-crime battery charge and ends up being about the murder instead. The same guy also brings Eli an anti-anti-Muslim bigotry campaign, which he works on just long enough to get business from/revenge on a Jewish charity that burned him in the past.
Alicia fucks up the battery case about sixteen different ways, including falling for a Cary trick where she gets the suspect to implicate himself in the hate-crime battery at the riot -- before the credits, she manages this -- which in turn serves as cause for his murder trial; later she asks the Jewish judge to recuse himself and be replaced... The day before Rosh Hashanah, assuring a non-Jewish judge will preside. (This last thing is so goddamn heinous of her that Peter's the only one gross enough to spot her agenda in time.)
Over at the SA's office, it's Peter's first day! He talks a good yarn about playing it clean this time -- going so far as to order that nobody allow any pleas for something like three months, I think. If by "clean" you mean "unbelievably slow-moving and annoying for everyone involved," then yes. On the other hand, he has a duty to recreate the image of the office, particularly with himself at the head, so big moves seem like a good idea.
He hires Sophia (Kalinda's married ex-fuckbuddy) as the SA's new investigator, setting up a bisexual love triangle among the three that's as scary as it is exciting to think about; and then spends the rest of the day trying to undermine his wife with spooky villain laughter. He's apparently not interested in thinking about governorship yet, but Eli's happy to do that for him -- and when he comes to Alicia's door to pick up the kids at the end of the episode, they're both polite, if not wholly friendly. Considering he wasn't even at his own election party I guess they've both had time to cool off.
Sophia eventually helps Kalinda nab the killer, but Alicia does a great job of helping her from the office. They're such good collaborators -- and so discreet about everything they do -- that only Diane manages to catch on to their hate vibe, and tells them to cut it out. Likewise, only Eli manages to figure out that Will and Alicia are pretending to be pissed at each other, but for whatever Eli reason he tells Peter there's nothing going on there. In fact, what is going on there is some outstanding secret sex.
It takes place in Will's living room, since Alicia can't handle going into the bedroom yet, and at the end of the episode we see even more of the toll it's taking on Alicia: Getting-pretty for a rendezvous with the kids of the house, she suddenly goes into a fugue state. Maybe she's just thinking about how cute her bangs look, but I doubt it.
Will cautions Kalinda to get more friends, or at least a dog, because even for Kalinda she's going pretty dark -- and finally admits he's as cold as we thought. They have a nice little talk about what it's like to be emotionless automatons, without even pets, that are pretending to be human. Then they both quietly wish this wasn't a total lie.
Anyway, the victim and murderer were actually just star-crossed gay lovers, and none of it was even remotely political. The swastika's even backwards, which just goes to show you about these kids today. And speaking of these kids today, Grace has made another excitingly weird friend, this time in the form of a tutor who's on the spectrum and loves nothing better than to film strangely aggressive dance videos in the middle of the subway like some kind of one-person flash mob. She gets that goofy face about this girl that she used to get about Black Jesus and I don't know, but it's possible Owen and Jackie were right about that girl after all.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Last season, Diane and Will got Lockhart, Gardner back and then allowed Eli Gold to set up shop in-house. Alicia got a corner office and Peter got reelected as State's Attorney, two happy moments overshadowed by the revelation that Kalinda slept with Peter several years ago. While Peter allied with Cary like some kind of supervillain group, Alicia: Bitched out her mother-in-law, kicked K out of her heart and Peter out of the apartment, and finally hooked up with Will Gardner.
I guess we're meant to assume wrongly that (or at least wonder whether) we're picking up the very next day. That's lovely for the thrill of watching, but doesn't really help in written form, so let's just say that it's not the next morning: Today is Alicia's first day in her new office, Peter's first day in his old office.
Alicia's got hot bangs and additionally such a sexual confidence about her that Chris Isaak's "Baby Did A Bad, Bad Thing" starts playing the second she's getting off the elevator.
(Tyler The Creator: "Somebody tell Alicia Florrick that I want my fucking swag back.")
As Alicia is arriving and we are getting a contact high from whatever she has going on, Diane's being treated to some gross violent jingo viral video about "Get Hamas Off-Campus" by the crazy hot Wasim Al-Said, who is a rich friend of Diane's that's had Young, Bachman & Meyers (a competitor but not one of the major ones we know about) on retainer for a while. Now he's at Lockhart, Gardner because of this video. Sort of.
Seems that a scheduled interfaith rally turned into a free-for-all, and Wasid thinks this is because of the video sent around campus by, he believes or assumes, The Jewish frat TKT. But of the dozen of kids involved, only one youngster is being charged: A Palestinian kid named Jimal Mifsud. A science-scholarship youth whose parents are in Jiddah and can't afford a lawyer (and, we'll learn, don't even know about any of this).
While the asymmetry is disconcerting, it's still just misdemeanor battery, which will end up with like court supervision at most... Except that Peter -- it being his first day as State's Attorney -- is charging it as a hate crime, which puts it at more like seven years. That's where we're at when Alicia shows up, having done one bad, bad thing or another:
Wasid: "Mrs. Florrick..."
Alicia: "Alicia's fine. You can totally call me Alicia right now. Firstly because it shows you're a special client, but secondly because I did a bad, bad thing."
Wasid: "Okay, listen. Your husband's always been chill with the Muslims, right?"
Alicia: "Um..."
Wasid: "Because he is burning us. He is burning our asses with this shit."
Diane: "Okay well obviously Alicia can't influence him. I mean, ethically she never could, but they are both right now in the process of doing bad, bad things."
Alicia: "Um, plus I'm a really good lawyer, which is why I'm here. I'll go to his bond hearing in a sec."
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