The Good Wife
The New Day

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: A+
Find The Lady

Since Alicia has well and truly fucked herself, it's time for Kalinda's patented move where she solves the case in five seconds. She and Sophia track Tariq to his favorite gay bar, toss around some Chicago-centric gay bar chatter, tackle him onto a barstool and force him to confess:

They were together, Simon dumped him, Tariq lost his shit, stabbed him a bunch of times and then tried to make it look like a hate crime by stabbing him a bunch more times and adding the piquancy of a swastika. (See, I told you Alicia was onto something. This is exactly the kind of drama queen shit a college student would pull.)

Kalinda: "One thing, though. When you set it up as a hate crime, why did you draw the swastika backward?"
Tariq: "What do you mean? Isn't that how you draw it?"

Kalinda & Sophia stare blankly into the camera, dumbstruck with the callowness of youth. Some found this resolution unlikely, but honestly I don't know that I would be able to draw a swastika the right way on a normal day, much less after stabbing my boyfriend 547 times. Probably your graphic design skills are the second thing to go, right after your marbles. Cool thing is, the likelihood of me ever having to find out for sure is nil. First of all because I would never stab a person, it's too biological, and secondly because I think Nazis are super tacky.


Peter and Eli are all about the clever wordplay, at the end of the day. "Is it good for the Jew...ish League Fund?" is one very funny, subtle little joke, and then it goes: "Well, I dunno. The Muslim was the killer, but he was also gay and sleeping with our guy, so..." There's an edgy little thing about finding out whether he was a top at least, which God help you if you tried to explain that one to your mom who watches this show, but straight people talking about gay sex -- or, more precisely, thinking they have any idea what they're talking about when they talk about gay sex -- makes me want to throw up anyway. (No hate, I just think there are several issues of privilege that come into it, which aren't really in our jurisdiction to talk about at this time, that make it more otherizing and fetishizing than you might understand in how it comes off to those of us for whom gay sex isn't actually a punchline. John Mayer's hood pass was eventually rescinded, etc.)

Anyway, Peter doesn't want to talk about becoming governor yet, and Eli's like, "That's what I'm here for anyway," and then Eli does another confounding thing. At some point in the episode he noticed the Will/Alicia weirdness vibes and, being Eli, one assumes he put it together correctly, but then this is what he says: "If you're worried about Alicia and Will Gardner... I think that whatever was there is no more. They barely look at each other." Which, Peter's spent the last fifteen or twenty years paranoid about that, it's his go-to when he's feeling attacky, so that's crazy to bring it up at all. But then when Peter giggles at him and accuses him of trying to hold the Florrick marriage together for the sake of future campaigns, Eli blushes and takes off. Curious. He's got so many walnut shells he could be juggling them, and all of them are disguised as something else.

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The Good Wife




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