The inordinately unethical Mike Kresteva may as well have put on an opera cape and carried a fog machine with him places, as subtly as he declared his evil intentions toward Peter and -- by extension, but also specifically -- Alicia. But he was not the only villain in our world, no: Jackie Florrick threw down the gauntlet with a fake (?) stroke when Alicia finally got Peter to stand up to her. In other news, Eli was forced to choose Peter's campaign over Vanessa's, Kalinda and Alicia are talking again, Cary's time at the SA may be coming to an end, and Will slept with some yucky lawyer lady who's been suspended for her coke habit.
HON RICHARD CUESTA PRESIDING
Cary: "So all your life savings and everything, huh? Just gone? And who's to blame?"
Lady: "That man over there! The defendant!"
Alicia: "Uh, that calls for speculation. Just trying to keep the prosecutor honest."
Judge (and Cary, to be honest): "We like your spunk!"
Bailiff: "Here's a document of a weird thing you should know, Your Honor."
Judge: "Nice weather we're having. But I think it might rain."
Diane & Cary: "Yeah, totally. Weather."
Judge: "Soooo I'm declaring a mistrial."
Alicia, et. al.: "WHAT?"
Judge: "Shut up. I've been put in the penalty box, it has nothing to do with y'all or this trial, it is politics, and my life is over. Stop crying, Judy."
Court Reporter Judy: (Is unable to stop crying.)
Judge: "So you three can just keep smirking and head on out to gossip about me. Except Diane."
Cary: "But Your Honor..."
Judge: "It's not about that. Just get out. You too, Judy."
LOCKHART & CUESTA
Judge: "Ms. Lockhart, I need a lawyer."
Diane: "Civil or criminal?"
Judge: "Depends on how much God hates me, I guess."
Diane: "Tell me more."
Judge: "Will you take the case?"
Diane: "Judges are assholes. Sell me on it."
Judge: "I prosecuted a wife-killer that just got out on DNA, and the State's Attorney is investigating how I did things."
Diane: "Alicia is not going to intercede with the SA. You have no idea..."
Judge: "It's not about Alicia, it's about Will. I liked how he dealt with his own investigation, and I want your firm on it."