Isobel: "Beyond asking me if I would like to fist you -- which, by the way, we can discuss -- he mostly just says you're great."
Alicia: "Well. Fabulous."
Isobel: "I am not sure about marrying him."
Alicia: "Somebody -- even you -- would marry him? That's romantic, if we were in a hell dimension where everything is the opposite of regular."
Isobel: "Do you think he is probably going to murder me like usual?"
Alicia: "You don't have an independent fortune, correct? So you're fine."
Isobel: "But what if I met him through a Craigslist ad that said I wanted to be tortured to death and have parts of my body fried up and eaten?"
(Okay she did not really say this, but did she have to? Is that not clearly her kind of thing?)
Alicia: "I believe marriage is a sanctified, traditional relationship between a man and a woman. So that means you should go for it."
INTERVIEW #1: GREGORY STECK
Is like Cary looking in a mirror, if that mirror was at a funhouse that showed you your American Psycho version. Have I ever told you how much I love douchebags? My biggest crushes of life: Megatron, Eddie Haskell, Reggie Mantle, Mark Cuban, Kenny Powers, Gaius Baltar. The thing about the Smartest Guy In The Room is, he isn't, but if he thinks he is, you can just get on it with it because he's not paying attention anyway, and I love that. "Oh, is it that time of the day where I tell you you're so super great? Done."
Robyn Burdine: "He's here and he's awful."
Cary: "Stay. You're not an assistant, you're... Whatever that awful hairdo you're rocking today says you are. A mean substitute teacher or a..."
Robyn Burdine: "But I'm so goofy!"
Cary: "Be stern and goofy at the same time."
Robyn Burdine: (Somehow does.)
Cary: "Clear those cobwebby chains off that bed of rusty nails I'm calling an ottoman and have a seat, tell us all about your awful self."
Greg: (Does. Forever.)
Out Of The Gate: "I built my own canoe."
Cary: "Is that ... a metaphor?"
Greg: "Even worse, it is not. But it's just a short hop to my humble-brag about how I wrote Justice Wallace's majority opinion on Miles, and how that makes me better than everybody at everything."
Cary: "Like if you clerk for a Supreme Court justice long enough, you want to see the law in action. Would be an acceptable person way to say that."