Rita Wilson: "Nathan Lane, I offer you one million dollars."
Trustee: "I am not a lawyer, or related to this case in any way, or somebody you should be talking to about this case, or about anything. If Diane Lockhart sees you in here she's going to whale on me, Rita Wilson."
Rita Wilson: "One million dollars. To save this firm, which is your entire job. But you have to take it and dismiss the case without talking to anybody else first, right now."
Trustee: "You are being kind of a shit today, Rita Wilson."
Rita Wilson: "I am just naturally like this!"
IT'S NOT LIKE I'M SOME RIELLE HUNTER
The chick that supposedly slept with Peter is, um, a lunatic. Kalinda spots her Crazy Eyes from across the room, but does the interview anyway.
Chick: "Old guys like to flirt with me, and I crave the attention, so..."
Kalinda: "Your childhood was not a picnic, I take it."
Chick: "Oh, by no means. It's why I'm such a nightmare. Anyway, we had sex like eight times, including at his apartment."
Kalinda: "He didn't have an ap... I mean, go on."
Chick: "Yeah, and his wife walked in on us one time!"
Chick: "And she was like, 'I'm not like a regular wife, I'm a cool wife..."
Kalinda: "Nope. Absolutely not."
Chick: "And then we had a threesome! And then Arnold Schwarzenegger came over and we had an orgy! And I was abducted by aliens during it! We had turkey and tomato sandwiches! I went to a farm one time where nuns were raising tiny little horses, miniature horses or maybe ponies! They drive around in golf carts! One of the nuns let me drive a golf cart! I almost went in the lake! All they had was lite mayo!"
Neil Gross dicks them around for about a million years, for no real reason, until -- like in every scene of this entire episode -- a lightbulb goes off over Alicia's head and realizes that he's bought the Girls off, so she runs to her office to see them in their stinky lazy clothes.